Category Archives: Humor

Now This Was Just Mean

Actually, it sounds like something I would do, if I had nothing better (or more entertaining) to do:

I just had a young lady, age 22, call me up from the Clinton campaign to see if I had voted yet. I said no, but it was raining, and I wasn’t sure I was going to get out and vote. She wanted to know who I was supporting, Hillary or Obama? I said it was difficult to choose between the two of them, and asked for her opinion. I kept that poor girl on the line for about a half hour (work-wise, I was having a slow day). I had her jumping through hoops on NAFTA, health care, the war in Afghanistan, etc. No matter what we talked about, I would get squishy and head off in a different direction (that’s my usual impersonation of a lib). I started expressing my concern that “the minority community” would feel betrayed if Obama doesn’t get the nomination. “What will this do to future of the Party?”

But at least he’s not as rough on telemarketers as this guy.

Idiot Alert

Over at Reason, the sad tale of a free-loader wannabe:

The group was now “out of food, hadn’t slept in days and were really cold,” and decided, in a grubby version of Dunkirk, to abandon the mission and head back to England. Boyles is disappointed-but not deterred. He is, the BBC reports, planning “to walk around the coast of Britain instead, learning French as he goes, so he can try again next year.” At which point the cycle begins anew, when, upon reaching Baden-Baden, the poor lad will realize that he should have also studied German.

As Wilde said in another context, one would have to have a heart of stone to read this and not laugh out loud.

Her Next Career

Iowahawk provides a glimpse of Hillary!’s future in the restaurant business.

Describe Incident(s) (be specific, including time)

At initial clock-in at 3:55 4/21/08, Sharon says Hillary refused to change into uniform skirt, which she said was demeaning, unflattering to legs. Hillary agreed to wear skirt only after lengthy argument between Sharon and Hillary’s attorneys. After numeorous complaints from customers, Hillary allowed to wear pants.

On 4/22/08, Sharon arrived for dinner shift, found restaurant unstaffed. Entire crew was in breakroom, where they said Hillary forced them to attend something called “Sausage Pricing Taskforce.”

Disciplinary Action:

Verbal reprimand; ordered new pantsuit uniform from District 6 Supply (size 18 short)

It gets better, naturally.

Creating An Appearance Of An Appearance

Michael Kinsley has the best take so far on McCain and the New York Times:

I have come under some criticism for my criticism of the New York Times for its criticism of Sen. John McCain. Many readers of last week’s New York Times article about McCain, including me, read that article as suggesting that McCain may have had an affair with a lobbyist eight years ago. The Times, however, has made clear that its story was not about an affair with a lobbyist. Its story was about the possibility that eight years ago, aides to McCain had held meetings with McCain to warn him about the appearance that he might be having an affair with the lobbyist. This is obviously a much more important question. To be absolutely clear: The Times itself was not suggesting that there had been an affair or even that there had been the appearance of an affair. The Times was reporting that there was a time eight years ago when some people felt there might be the appearance of an affair, although others, apparently including McCain himself, apparently felt that there was no such appearance.

Read all.

Get A Rooster

Lileks sets an alarm clock:

First you push the ALARM SET button, and you should get our old friend, Mr. Blinking Twelve. But no. You press SOURCE to select iPod or FM tuner. Repeatedly pressing this button just makes the iPod option flash on the display, though, and you figure you’ve done something wrong. So you turn the device OFF.

And the display face lights up. This is the first indication that the device was designed by the American Union of Nonintuitive Interfaces. These guys get a lot of work nowadays. You start again. SOURCE. You get the flashing iPod option. Ah hah: here’s another on/off button; let’s try that. It turns everything off and powers down the unit. That’s an option you’ve never had on an alarm clock before; if we had world enough and time, we could consider the possible scenarios in which one would want to power down the alarm clock. None come to mind.

Speaking of roosters, having spent some time in tropical climes where they run around wild, I can attest that the notion that they crow at dawn is a myth that has been foisted on city slickers like me. Or rather, that they only crow at dawn. I hear them crowing at dawn, at sunset, at lunchtime, at 2 AM. They may be good at waking you up, but not at any particularly useful time.