I am wounded to the core of my fragile being that Professor Reynolds would accuse me of sending him "off-color" jokes via email about the recent ceramic-penis-napping caper in Colorado. He must have somehow simply mistaken my genuine curiousity for something much more crude and nefarious.

I simply asked him if, in their fervent desire to find the culprit, he thought that the Boulder librarians might hire a private dick. You know, one possessing the most straight and upright character...

You, the gentle reader, may now judge for yourself.