I'd like to think that this story about some poor souls who need hypnotherapy to get over the election is a story from The Onion, but it's from my new home-town paper:

Boca Raton trauma specialist Douglas Schooler said he has treated 15 clients and friends with “intense hypnotherapy” since the Democratic nominee conceded last Wednesday. “I had one friend tell me he’s never been so depressed and angry in his life,” Schooler said. “I observed patients threatening to leave the country or staring listlessly into space. They were emotionally paralyzed, shocked and devastated...”

...Some mental health professionals in South Florida said Monday they have already developed a new category for the Kerry-related stress reactions. Because Palm Beach County voted heavily for Kerry, the therapists said, many residents hurt themselves by so anxiously expecting the Massachusetts senator to win – especially those who maintained unrealistic recount hopes after their candidate’s concession.

“We’re calling it ‘post-election selection trauma’ and we’re working to develop a counseling program for it,” said Rob Gordon, the Boca-based executive director of the American Health Association. “It’s like post-traumatic stress syndrome, but it’s a short-term shock rather than a childhood trauma.”

Somehow, I doubt if we'd be reading stories like this about Bush supporters had things gone the other way. I had been tempted to write a spoof about things like this, but it's hard to parody these folks.

[Update late afternoon]

Good golly, Miss Molly, there's a follow up. Now it really is becoming Onion like:

The AHA’s actions come after the Boca Raton News reported Tuesday that Palm Beach County psychotherapist Douglas Schooler has already treated 15 Kerry supporters using intense hypnotherapy. Schooler, contacted Wednesday, said four more people had already set up appointments for the onetime therapy session since the article was picked up internationally and cited on Rush Limbaugh’s radio show.

“The problem is out there and it’s not going to go away anytime soon,” Schooler said. “Conservatives are calling me to say these people are weak-kneed kooks, but they’re not acknowledging that this is a normal psychological response to a severe and disillusioning situation. Any suggestion that this is not a serious problem arises from a political agenda. The Republicans don’t want this talked about.”

"Republicans don't want this talked about"? I can't type that with a straight face, but apparently he said it. If Republicans don't want it talked about, why does this moron think that Rush is having such a good time talking about it?

Nancy M. Tabet, a mental health counselor with a small practice in Delray Beach, said she had helped about five clients deal with the post-election trauma in their therapy sessions.

“It’s interesting to me that people in Palm Beach County, because they vote for Kerry and thoroughly expected him to win, are in somewhat of a disbelief stage,” Tabet said. “We talk it out in our sessions and I help them realize there are people who share their viewpoint and who are there for them throughout this ordeal.”

Asked when the Kerry-related trauma would end, Tabet said, “I think the jury’s still out on that one. I think it depends on the swing of the politics.”

Elizabeth Foxman, a cognitive therapist in Delray, took issue with the AHA’s decision to label the Kerry-related stress as a new sort of trauma.

“I don’t disagree with their diagnosis, but I wouldn’t use the word trauma,” Foxman said. “That’s a loaded term. I would say there’s more sadness and anxiety than trauma. My own patients have been stressed, but only one or two have mentioned the election as a topic in therapy.”

Gordon, the AHA psychotherapist, said his agency was referring his 30 callers — most of them men — to other support groups prior to Wednesday. He said the post-election trauma will require three to four support group sessions at his agency’s counseling center, but added that he thinks the problem will fade as the troubled Kerry supporters adjust to reality.

“The support group structure means you have to bring these people together for several sessions,” Gordon said. “But every day is a new day. John Ashcroft’s resignation is going to help because Democrats certainly felt the cause of their stress was bigger than President Bush. If Condoleeza Rice and a few others resign, that will help cure their animosity as well.”

You couldn't make this stuff up. No one would believe you.

I think this story is most probably true. Because the Kedwards supporters are all about feelings, and emotions, and caring, and blah blah blah. So it's only natural to need therapy prior to their emmigration to Canada or New Zealand or Australia.

It all just goes to prove, how mean and un-caring the Far Right Wing Evangelical Christians are.

We will now begin to see articles, and TV and radio news stories, about all the NEW pain and suffering in America and how it's the fault of that mean and un-caring 51% of voters.

Personally I am having a problem with the whole "Christian Right" thing anyway. I have looked, but cannot find numbers of Americans who regularly attend church? Or of that number, how many are Evangelical?

Well I answered my own question of the "Religiousity" of America. I found this article that is just months old. As I suspected, the left, and their willing accomplices in the MSM are WRONG!! AGAIN!!

Thanks to my brother Chris for finding this article.

http://www.zondervanchurchsource.com/BRFNG2.htm

"I have looked, but cannot find numbers of Americans who regularly attend church? Or of that number, how many are Evangelical?"

Not me, on either count, and I'm part of "Teh Evil Right Wing Idiocy", supposedly.

The problem is, you can't parody these folks on this, and you can't parody them on the fact that Ashcroft resigned, either. I had a conversation yesterday with someone who was getting stomach aches worrying about who Bush would appoint in Ashcroft's place, and how we're "on the brink of global nuclear war".

"Somehow, I doubt if we'd be reading stories like this about Bush supporters had things gone the other way."

I also doubt that they would have been gracious winners, either. I have this sneaky suspicion that there would have been quite a bit of "It's about time", "Told you so"s, etc, and I can only imagine the drunken debauchery that would have come about on the day Kerry was sworn into office.

It's been refreshing to see that at least Bill White has been gracious in all of this. Unfortunately, the loonies far outweigh the gracious in this case.

Oh, I'm not saying they would have been gracious. I'm just saying they wouldn't have been pathetic.

I didn't resort to therapy when Clinton was elected & then re-elected. I just got over it.

Bush won. Get over it, you crybabies.

http://cube47.blogspot.com/

The Onion did have some nicely biting headlines, such as "MoveOn CurlsUp InCorner".

And thanks to LGF for pointing out that the acronym for "post-election selection trauma" is....

PEST! :-D

You notice how the democrats whine about those rich white republicans and how evil they are towards ethnic minorities. You will also notice that the same democrats whine about going to Canada or New Zealand or some other "white" country.

Why don't they talk about going to a non-white country such as Brazil, Mexico, or somewhere in Asia?

Somebody needs to call a "Whaaaahmbulance!"

I.. we.. we believe you.
Me.. and my big buddy, my invisible rabbit friend,
Harvey, here... we believe you.

Some years ago Paul Krassner observed that it was getting harder and harder to be a satirist because reality was getting goofier and goofier. He had a little rule of thumb to offer. "If I'm not sure whether or not I'm dreaming, I flap my arms. If I don't fly up in the air, I know I'm awake."

One comment:

Bwaahahahahahahaha ahhahahahah ahahahahah ahahahahaha ahahahahhahaahahahahahahah
(wipes tear).

Quote: "but added that he thinks the problem will fade as the troubled Kerry supporters adjust to reality."

I think that about sums it up right there. These people were good candidates for therapy before the election most likely. Lots of people need help with building up their coping mechanisms.

What a shame they didn't "adjust to reality" before the election.

All this PEST thing is, is another ploy to gouge insurance companies by money hungry doctors. The "Doctor" who thought this one up should have his license pulled. It's also just another way for people to put the blame on something else rather than just live with the results. I can't wait to see how many lawsuits start because of this. JUST GET OVER IT AND GROW UP!!