Just a little rant.

I guess it's some kind of technological advance when we can talk to robots on the telephone, but I don't want to do it. It's not just that the technology isn't perfect, and you have to enunciate clearly and loudly. Did it ever occur to these morons that if I'm in the middle of a cube farm, I just may not want to speak my credit card number, or social security number, or zip code, or mother's maiden name aloud? Or even speaking precise monosyllables, and sounding like an idiot to your cubemates?

I thought that the concept of using the digital keypad for sending commands to a remote system was great. Going to voice is, for me, a step backwards. There's no reason that they can't give a keypad option for each verbal one, yet many of them, once they transition to the new voice recognition systems, don't. I prefer to pay my bills in silence, and I'll prefer service providers that recognize that.

I think I read in "New Scientist" that some of those machines have an option of writing it in cursive if you don't want to speak aloud.

Don't give them any ideas...

The part that bugs me is how they're trying to be polite, using that damn "airplane flight safety speach" kind of talk. "Please press 3 to speak with a customer service representative" could just as easily be shortend to "3 for customer service". When you have 7 options and you know your request is going to be one of the last ones its mind numbing to have to sit through all the "pleases" and "instructions for labotomy patients".

Its the same thing with my rant about Enterprise car rental. They talk you to death trying to substitute friendliness with customer services. All of this damn, "how are you?! how's the weather? Is this a business trip? Oh? What business are you in? Is it going well? How're the kids?" AAARGG! I just want a damn car. Give me the keys now before I shove that rental agreement somewhere!

That's why I like Hertz #1 Gold. No human at all. Look at board. Find name. Go to stall. Get in car. Drive. What is it about companies that think that "customer service" means "waste the customers time with insincere drivel".

Sigh.....

wow... that felt kind of good...

Understand the rant, but two things:

1) if your calling a place that requires your social security and/or mother's maiden name to validate your identity, you'll probably have to give it a real person anyway, so you'll be saying it out loud whether a robot or not (common, you're real rant is being in a cube environment).

2) isn't annoying that you have to first provide your social security and/or mother's maiden name to the robot, and then get asked the same exact questions by a person just moments later. They realize the robotic technology can be spoofed, so they have to do it in person anyway. Why do it?

Actually, I'm not in a cube environment, but many are, so that's not the issue for me. The problem is that I'd prefer to use a speakerphone, and that doesn't work very well with voice recognition systems, so I have to hold the receive up to my ear. I also feel like I'm being treated like a kindergartner by the system, and there seem to be frustrating delays in it (I don't know if it's slower than a touchpad system, but it seems like it is). I simply find it an irritating experience, relative to just punching keys, with zero value added for me.

Maybe there are people out there who enjoy talking to machines, but I'm not one of them. I wish that the first thing on the menu was an option for which interface you wanted to use. A customer-friendly system would do that.

For that matter, what's with the VCR/DVD recorders that let you use the number keys to change channels, but not to program?

I've found that many of the automated systems will give up and transfer to an operator if you lean on an illegal key (e.g. "#") three or five times. You still end up with a person instead of the keypad, but it seems faster to me.

I am not sure what the number is now, but a few years ago I worked at IBM on th helpdesk. They estimated that 12% to 15% of the incoming calls to the help desk and general customer service numbers hung up rather than deal with the VRU.

It's a no brainer, 15% fewer calls requires 15% fewer phone answerers, and 15% less in phone answerers salaries and benefits, 15% fewer desks, phones, chairs, pencils, traning rooms, restrooms, shall I continue?

And a percentage of that 15% will still return and buy more product. So its a win / win for the companies and a lose / lose for us the consumer.

I've found that some systems will transfer you to a human if you shout into the receiver real loud.

Tsk Tsk, Don't do personal business on company time and with company assets.

Hefty,

See Rand's comments above. I, too, am frustrated in the same way he is, trying to use a speakerphone to make my life easier, and being subjected to inanity by an inbound VRU.

Hawkins,

Indeed, some of the VRUs out there have "annoyance meters" in them, to try and determine how irate an inbound caller is, and transfer quickly, or to a different customer resolution group. I, personally, lose patience with the VRUs by about the third or fourth question, and get quite irate with my answers. I have yet to get transferred to an operator, though. Like Rand said, the VRU questions treat the caller like a child, but my other major annoyance is the VRU verifying your answer every time you speak it. It's bad enough to have to speak my selection (such as "Technical Support", etc), but to have to answer "Did you say Technical Support?" is doubly annoying.

Pressing a number on a keypad is substantially quicker, requires less error checking, and is more speaker-phone friendly.

I guess if people stopped crashing their SUVs while they chatted on their cellphones trying to enter their selections, maybe we wouldn't need VRUs....