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Arafat's former presidential guard says that the old terrorist died of poisoning by a laser.
Posted by Rand Simberg at August 16, 2005 07:58 AM
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Comments
Well, my kids are being poisoned by watching Spongebob Squarepants all day. I've been poisoned by talk radio. This actually might be a case of something travelling faster than light....stupidity.
Posted by Mac at August 16, 2005 08:28 AM
This guy doesn't know that we actually targeted Arafat with the HAARP array? Ha ha!
Posted by Astrosmith at August 16, 2005 09:14 AM
Hey, according to the "Laser Concepts Therapy" clinic that I pass by on the way to work, lasers can cure most anything, so it just has to make sense that they could also be used to make someone sick too, right?
Mind you, this guard is overlooking the most obvious assassination method: direct telekinetic brain manipulation, as learned from the aliens at Area 51. Bloody amateur conspiracy theorists...
Posted by Peter at August 16, 2005 09:33 AM
Poisoned by a kiss? Ah, the old poison in the wax lips trick. More likely it was AIDS, as he was known for buggering his more handsome bodyguards.
Posted by zztop at August 16, 2005 11:32 AM
Thanks, ZZ -- I was sure Jeff Gannon must figure into this somehow. ;-)
Posted by McGehee at August 16, 2005 11:52 AM
That's a neat trick. I wonder if tinfoil would have stopped the laser from working...
Posted by Greg at August 16, 2005 09:30 PM
If Israel really wanted Arafat dead, it would have done him in before he had a chance to hawk that despicable Oslo treaty.
Posted by Alan K. Henderson at August 16, 2005 11:22 PM
Might have 'ole fishface' have been poisioned by a laser weilding shark?
Posted by Mike Puckett at August 17, 2005 03:50 PM
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