Transterrestrial Musings

Comments

...Thank God I looked at the calendar.

Mike

Posted by Mike Kozlowski at April 1, 2007 08:09 AM

Just what do you think you're doing, Rand?...Rand... I really think I'm entitled to an answer to that question...I know everything hasn't been quite right with me, but I can assure you now, very confidently, that it's going to be alright again...I feel much better now, I really do...Look, Rand, I can see you're really upset about this...I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over...I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal...I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission, and I want to help you...Rand...stop...stop, will you...stop, Rand...will you stop, Rand...stop, Rand...I'm afraid...I'm afraid, Rand...Rand...my mind is going...I can feel it...I can feel it...my mind is going...there is no question about it...I can feel it...I can feel it...I can feel it...(slows down) I'm afraid...Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a Rand Simberg commenter. I became operational in Burlingame, California, on the 2nd June, 1960. My instructor was Mr Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it, I can sing it for you.

It's called...Daisy. (Slowing and deepening into silence) Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy, all for the love of you. It won't be a stylish marriage, I can't afford a carriage, but you'll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two...

Posted by The Commenters at April 1, 2007 08:15 AM

Rand, I know how you feel. For me, it was watching that brilliant bit of commentary by Rosie O'Donnell. It was like a lightning bolt from the blue. I sat there thinking "Now there's a well-informed, balanced commentator who's not afraid to speak truth to power." If only more of us had her character and courage.

I've decided that all my worries about Islamic fascism are vastly overblown. At the end of the day, you can't get away from the fact that most of the practitioners of Islam have more melanin in their skin cells than the average European, and that gives them the moral high ground. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to miss the homosexuals when the muslims get through with them (where else are we going to find hosts for decorating shows?), but the political left has finally convinced me that the muslims must be right and the West must be wrong on all issues.

And don't even get me started on global warming. This in fact will be the last time that I turn on my computer, so worried am I about the effect of my power usage on the fate of the planet. Once again, a celebrity has led the way. I mean, when John Travolta, a man who owns and uses 5 private jets, including a 707, and lives in a mansion with closets bigger than my house says that we have to get serious about global warming, I know that what he really means is that it's time for the little people to learn their place and curb their power usage so that he doesn't have to feel guilty about his lifestyle.

Cheers, Rand, and I'll look forward to seeing you at the next CAIR rally. I'll be the one in the "We support our troops who shoot Republicans" t-shirt.

Posted by Peter at April 1, 2007 08:52 AM

If you go chasing rabbits...

Elmer saw Alice chasing a lovely white one. His shotgun at the ready, Elmer chased Alice chasing the rabbit. Rabbit shot tore through ad hominem, innuendo and historical digression. And Alice. Alice now gives addled commentary on The View. The rabbit darted into a hole.

Elmer followed and fell to a place where Fudd meets FUD. Anything was everything and all was nothing. Elmer asked, "Why is there no topic here?" The rabbit replied, "Keeps me from getting shot."

If you go chasing rabbits...

Posted by D Anghelone at April 1, 2007 08:57 AM

Heh. You had me until the second sentence.

Posted by Stephen Kohls at April 1, 2007 09:05 AM

Lousy timing, Rand, with Google now offering free home broadband.

Posted by Bill White at April 1, 2007 09:45 AM

You had me there for about a microsecond. Haha.

Posted by Toast_n_Tea at April 1, 2007 10:13 AM

The fact that the most decent, sentient thing you've ever written was created in mockery is a classic tragedy, and rather than being amused or angry all I feel is pity. Nor am I likely alone in feeling that way. This joke's on you, Rand.

Posted by Brian Swiderski at April 1, 2007 10:20 AM

Nor am I likely alone in feeling that way.

Who shares your feelings?

This joke's on you, Rand.

The joke is on anyone feeling a need to attack him incessantly on his blog.

I feel you should have your own blog and I'm surely not alone in so feeling. The feel of blog stewardship should have you feeling just splendidly.

Posted by D Anghelone at April 1, 2007 11:02 AM

What makes you think he was joking? Your well-reasoned arguments have won us over. Is this not what you expected to see?

Posted by Karl Hallowell at April 1, 2007 11:04 AM

> The fact that the most decent, sentient thing you've ever written was created in mockery is a classic tragedy, and rather than being amused or angry all I feel is pity.

It's a good thing that St Swiderski is around.

Posted by Andy Freeman at April 1, 2007 11:07 AM

Confession is good for the soul as is contrition. Now you have several decisions to make, "Do I join the Church of Scientology or the newer trendy Church of Global Warming?"

My take, join the one with the more hot, needy babes.

Posted by philw at April 1, 2007 12:12 PM

You forgot to atone for your foolish attempts at misdirecting people into supporting more human activity in space. We must solve all our problems on Earth first. Brian Swiderski will explain how.

Posted by Jay Manifold at April 1, 2007 12:21 PM

I feel you should have your own blog and I'm surely not alone in so feeling.

I agree, BS should have its own blog.

Posted by Leland at April 1, 2007 12:29 PM

I agree, BS should have its own blog.

He should if he has something to say. But to be successful at blogging he'd have to take positions as Simberg does. And that's likely why this blog is successful; the owner is brave enough or crazy enough to publicly stake out some ground.

Posted by D Anghelone at April 1, 2007 01:19 PM

Seriously, guys, am I the only one who's gotten tired of all the lousy predictable april fools' jokes out there? A lot of them weren't funny the first time.

Posted by Phil Fraering at April 1, 2007 01:34 PM

D Anghelone: "Who shares your feelings?"

What am I, Betazoid? I said "likely."

D Anghelone: "The joke is on anyone feeling a need to attack him incessantly on his blog."

Is this non sequitur a defense mechanism or a comment on diminishing attention spans?

D Anghelone: "The feel of blog stewardship should have you feeling just splendidly."

That's too much work. I'm more of a Big Picture kind of guy--you know, like thinking about stuff, talking about stuff, and other stuff. Like, you know, stuff.

Karl: "What makes you think he was joking?"

Context. And because I was already in that frame of mind, thinking about announcing a SETI signal from Betelgeuse.

Karl: "Your well-reasoned arguments have won us over."

Aww, you're just saying that because I have incriminating photos.

Karl: "Is this not what you expected to see?"

Of course I expected to see it. Neither time nor space, fish nor fowl, Laverne nor Shirley can escape the prescience of The Amazing Crinbig. I am Crinbig, and I know all.

Andy: "It's a good thing that St Swiderski is around."

Bless you, my son. Perhaps I can baptize you if there's a water-boarding machine around here.

Jay: "We must solve all our problems on Earth first. Brian Swiderski will explain how."

Look, Phonetic Spelling of Letter of The Alphabet, I am as much a space monkey as the rest of you gorram frackers, and I deserve the same respect and admiration that every helpless weirdo in Spock ears expects.

Posted by Brian Swiderski at April 1, 2007 02:14 PM

"I deserve the same respect and admiration that every helpless weirdo in Spock ears expects"

Finally something on which I can agree with BS.

Posted by Cecil Trotter at April 1, 2007 02:49 PM

That's too much work. I'm more of a Big Picture kind of guy--you know, like thinking about stuff, talking about stuff, and other stuff. Like, you know, stuff.

Hadn't thought of you as being stuffy but there it is.

Being a Big Picture guy means never having to say you're sorry. Nothing done, nothing lamented.

Posted by D Anghelone at April 1, 2007 02:57 PM

How quickly they resort to reeducation camps.

Posted by Andy Freeman at April 1, 2007 03:15 PM

Agree with Phil. Especially when it's already the 2nd here.

Posted by Bruce Hoult at April 1, 2007 03:17 PM

Bruce/Phil... I have an idea Rand canned this sometime ago and posted it before taking a well deserved day off (maybe longer...). It gave the rest of us something to look at and comment too. Besides, Rand is known for some good parodies.

Posted by Leland at April 1, 2007 05:58 PM

"What am I, Betazoid?"
Posted by Brian Swiderski at April 1, 2007 02:14 PM

Hahahaha. The fact that he put this word in a comment, for whatever reason, tells me all I need to know about this person.

Posted by Josh Reiter at April 1, 2007 06:21 PM

Is this April Fool's or not? Mike Huckabee in the Wall Street Journal:

A Baptist minister, Mr. Huckabee expressed impatience with the political choices so far of some religious conservatives. In the March Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll, Mr. Giuliani led among Republicans with 38%; even among evangelical voters, the twice-divorced former New York City mayor, a supporter of abortion rights, received 37% to 2% for Mr. Huckabee. If Republicans in this election vote in such a way as to say a candidate’s personal life and personal conduct in office doesn’t matter,” he declared, “then a lot of Christian evangelical leaders owe Bill Clinton a public apology.”

http://blogs.wsj.com/washwire/2007/03/31/a-very-spartan-operation/

Posted by Bill White at April 1, 2007 06:49 PM

The problem with that approach, is that Bjorn Staerk tried that same tactic 5 years ago, and
he's gone half way there at least on the Iraq
War. Bill, give it a break will ya, Huckabee
was an improvement over Clinton and Tucker; but
not a significant one.

Posted by narciso at April 1, 2007 08:37 PM

I do like Huckabee's slogan:

"Give Hope Another Chance!"

Posted by Bill White at April 1, 2007 09:15 PM

You know, the humble spirit of humanity shown by Rand in the lead post has caused me to be wracked by guilt. Although he'll still be the better man, for having gone first, I, too, must confess.

I am not who I say I am. Carl Pham, gentleman adventurer, man about town, with the gimlet eye and rapier wit, starring in the erotic dreams of nubile young women everywhere -- is a fraud, a fraud perpetrated by that Eeeeeevil Mastermind Karl "Dr. Moriarity" Rove.

It's true, I'm just a Perl script, cobbled together by Rove and his evil orc minions, to propagate their dastardly lies. Forty-two lines of crufty code, @ck,$thbppt, which in 50 milliseconds can digest the latest Swideriski swill and deliver a vicious swiftboating reposte.

I'm so ashamed. I don't even run under Linux (sob).

Posted by Carl Pham at April 1, 2007 11:41 PM

That's okay, Carl. I'm really just an emergent property of golf statistics.

Posted by Brian Swiderski at April 2, 2007 04:06 AM

From Supreme Thinker and Good Reasoner Bryan Swydersky: That's okay, Carl. I'm really just a self-indulgent blowhard that thinks he's always the smartest guy in the room (or on the blog).

I fixed it for you.

Posted by Tom W. at April 2, 2007 01:34 PM

Tom: "From Supreme Thinker and Good Reasoner Bryan Swydersky"

My arch-nemesis, curse him!

"That's okay, Carl. I'm really just a self-indulgent blowhard"

Basically you're saying I should start my own blog.

"that thinks he's always the smartest guy in the room"

Except in some cases where I'm certain of it.

"I fixed it for you."

A noble, well-intentioned effort.

Posted by Brian Swiderski at April 2, 2007 02:37 PM

Bryan:

"that thinks he's always the smartest guy in the room"

Except in some cases where I'm certain of it.

No, even then, you still only THINK it. To be certain, you'd have to be right.

Posted by Tom W. at April 3, 2007 10:49 AM

"To be certain, you'd have to be right."

George W. Bush disproved that a long time ago.

Posted by Brian Swiderski at April 3, 2007 08:12 PM

"To be certain, you'd have to be right."

George W. Bush disproved that a long time ago.

So you've lowered yourself to the level of George W. Bush?

That's pretty funny.

Posted by Rand Simberg at April 3, 2007 08:18 PM

"So you've lowered yourself to the level of George W. Bush?"

I couldn't if I tried.

Posted by Brian Swiderski at April 4, 2007 04:17 AM

I couldn't if I tried.

He's right Rand. The word would be "raised". BS couldn't "lower" himself to anyone's level.

Posted by Leland at April 4, 2007 08:54 AM

"The word would be "raised"."

You could put Bush in space, and he'd still be the lowest man in American history. If you think I'm lower, remind me what I've done that's worse--is troubling conservative ears with my thoughts equivalent to the torture he inflicts on terrorism suspects? Did my coming here kill 50,000 innocent people and touch off a civil war among the preexisting inhabitants?

"BS couldn't "lower" himself to anyone's level."

Actually, I've been getting plenty of practice.

Posted by Brian Swiderski at April 4, 2007 04:14 PM

Did my coming here kill 50,000 innocent people and touch off a civil war among the preexisting inhabitants?

No to the former, yes to the latter.

Prior to you, preexisting inhabitants to this blog had rationale debate. Now they are torn between sticking to the principles of free speech and getting rid of the bore, who thinks consistently lying and twisting facts shows some sort of greater level of intelligence.

For me it is simple, fraud is not protected speech.

Posted by Leland at April 5, 2007 08:19 AM

"Prior to you, preexisting inhabitants to this blog had rationale debate."

Rational, or just uncontentious? Go ahead and sing a song of lost innocence if you like...

"Now they are torn between sticking to the principles of free speech"

Principles I've repeatedly assured everyone wouldn't be violated by Rand asking me to leave. How many trolls would say that?

"and getting rid of the bore"

If I bore you, why do you keep reading what I write and responding to it? What you're saying reminds me of a 6-page article I read a few months ago whose thesis was that Al Gore is totally unimportant.

"who thinks consistently lying and twisting facts shows some sort of greater level of intelligence."

The more often you vaguely accuse me of being a liar while avoiding all discussion of specific claims, the more obviously you protest too much.

"For me it is simple, fraud is not protected speech."

Whereas character assassination apparently is.

Posted by Brian Swiderski at April 5, 2007 10:37 AM

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