Johnnie Cash, She’s Not

A woman was arrested in Plover, Wisconsin, for shooting people with a blowgun, because she “liked to hear them say ‘ouch.'”

I guess that’s the difference between Reno and Plover.

[Update later afternoon]

McGehee has the song about the saga in comments (with a slight mod by me):

When she was just a baby,
Her mama told her, “Sweetheart,
Always be a good girl
And don’t shoot blowgun darts.”
But she shot some folks in Plover,
Just to hear them say “Ouch.”
Now the state’s going to remand her
To a psychiatrist’s couch.

That’ll be Top Forty material all the way from Wausau to Waukesha.

7 thoughts on “Johnnie Cash, She’s Not”

  1. When she was just a baby,
    Her mama told her, “Sweetheart,
    Always be a good girl
    And don’t shoot blowgun darts.”
    But she shot a bunch of people in Plover,
    Just to hear them say “Ouch.”
    Now the state’s going to remand her
    To a psychiatrist’s couch.

  2. Great song — I’m singing it at karaoke for sure. Here’s what I’ll use:

    When she was just a baby
    Her mama said “Sweetheart,
    Always be a good girl
    And don’t shoot blowgun darts.”
    But she shot some folks in Plover
    just to hear them say “Ouch”.
    Now the state’s gon’ remand her
    to a psychiatrists couch.

  3. Here’s another verse:

    You know it could have been worse
    When this bitch had her fun
    Some folks might have responded
    By whipping out their gun
    She’s lucky that didn’t happen
    That’s all I’ve got to say
    If this bitch picked me for a target
    I’d blow her ass away.

Comments are closed.