More October Surprises

In the last week of the campaign, they’re coming fast and furious. Iowahawk has the latest roundup:

DRUNK BUSH DRAGGED JAMES BYRD BEHIND AWOL JET

Then-airman George W. Bush was reprimanded by superiors for a drunken 1972 AWOL incident in which he dragged a helpless James Byrd behind his F-101, according to a new Texas Air National Guard document found in an Abeline, Texas Kinkos restroom.

The newly unsealed document, which several experts have now verified as typewritten, resurrected nagging questions about Bush’s disputed controversial “military service,” his drug and alcohol abuse, and his role in the slaying of Byrd.

The document shows that Bush earned a stern reprimand from a commanding officer, 6-Star General Smith, who remarks that “Dude, that is so not cool.”

Smith goes on to recommend that Bush “freeze the dude’s body, so like later on you can be governor and blame it on some rednecks, and then have those guys executed.”