Just in time for the holidays. Congress has to step in to keep the North Pole from going under:
“These are grim economic times for everyone, but even more so for non-profit toy manufacturers in the Snow Belt,” said Kringle. “Our accountants have indicated that we are on track to exhaust our reserves of cash and magical pixie fairydust by December 23. Oh deary me.”
Kringle and UET union president Binky McGiggles presented a draft emergency bailout plan to the committee calling for US $18 trillion in federal grants, loan guarantees, and sugarplum gumdrops that they said would keep the company solvent through December 26.
“We believe this proposal shows that management and labor can work together to craft a reasonable, financially responsible short-term survival plan,” said McGiggles. “After the new Congress is seated in January, we would be happy to return to present a long-term package to get us through April.”
Kringle warned that failure to approve the plan would have dire global economic consequences.
“Oh goodness,” said an emotional Kringle, fumbling with his glasses, “think of all the children who will wake up sad and angry and confused on Christmas morning, with nothing in their stockings. Let’s just say I wouldn’t want to be their parents. Or a someone answering your switchboards on December 26.”
Where will the madness end?
Of course, if Santa isn’t too big to fail, who is?
This never would have happened if the Elvish Labor Federation still represented that shop.
it’s a pity nobody is complaining about overpaid
wall street parasites.
basically a bunch of bad accountants and BS Artists getting
paid millions a year to yammer on phones.
A pity jack lee doesn’t realize the parasite he is. An ignorant troll that apparently never paid attention to this blog during the first bailout debate. Yet, he, a BS artist himself, yammers on.