I’m really getting to be quite the international celebrity. I used to just get spam from low-level Nigerian civil servants. Now I’m getting email from the better half of Mr. Mobutu Sese-Seko Himself. Not only that, but I’m her “friend”!

We know that the whole thing is VERY IMPORTANT, because it’s in ALL CAPS.

FROM:MRS. M SESE-SEKO

DEAR FRIEND,

I AM MRS. SESE-SEKO WIDOW OF LATE PRESIDENT MOBUTU SESE-SEKO OF ZAIRE, NOW KNOWN AS DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO (DRC). I AM MOVED TO WRITE YOU THIS LETTER, THIS WAS IN CONFIDENCE CONSIDERING MY PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCE AND SITUATION.

Once again, I am deeply touched by her confidence in someone that she’s never met, particularly considering her PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCE AND SITUATION.

I ESCAPED ALONG WITH MY HUSBAND AND TWO OF OUR SONS PAUL AND BASHER OUT OF DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO (DRC) TO ABIDJAN, COTE D’IVOIRE WHERE MY FAMILY AND I SETTLED, WHILE WE LATER MOVED TO SETTLED IN MORROCO WHERE MY HUSBAND LATER DIED OF CANCER DISEASE. HOWEVER DUE TO THIS SITUATION WE DECIDED TO CHANGED MOST OF MY HUSBAND’S BILLIONS OF DOLLARS DEPOSITED IN SWISS BANK AND OTHER COUNTRIES INTO OTHER FORMS OF MONEY CODED FOR SAFE PURPOSE BECAUSE THE NEW HEAD OF STATE OF (DR) MR LAURENT KABILA HAS MADE ARRANGEMENT WITH THE SWISS GOVERNMENT AND OTHER EUROPEAN COUNTRIES TO FREEZE ALL MY LATE HUSBAND’S TREASURES DEPOSITED IN SOME EUROPEAN COUNTRIES.

Yeah. Life as an ex-tyrant is rough. Especially when he has fatal cancer, and greedy relatives.

HENCE MY CHILDREN AND I DECIDED LAYING LOW IN AFRICA TO STUDY THE SITUATION TILL WHEN THINGS GETS BETTER, LIKE NOW THAT PRESIDENT KABILA IS DEAD AND THE SON TAKING OVER (JOSEPH KABILA). ONE OF MY LATE HUSBAND’S CHATEAUX IN SOUTHERN FRANCE WAS CONFISCATED BY THE FRENCH GOVERNMENT, AND AS SUCH I HAD TO CHANGE MY IDENTITY SO THAT MY INVESTMENT WILL NOT BE TRACED AND CONFISCATED. I HAVE DEPOSITED THE SUM OF EIHGTEEN MLLION UNITED STATE DOLLARS(US$18,000,000,00.) WITH A SECURITY COMPANY, AMSTERDAM FOR SAFEKEEPING. THE FUNDS ARE SECURITY CODED TO PREVENT THEM FROM KNOWING THE CONTENT. WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO IS TO INDICATE YOUR INTEREST THAT YOU WILL ASSIST US BY RECEIVING THE MONEY ON OUR BEHALF. ACKNOWLEDGE THIS MESSAGE, SO THAT I CAN INTRODUCE YOU TO MY SON (PAUL) WHO HAS THE OUT MODALITIES FOR THE CLAIM OF THE SAID FUNDS. I WANT YOU TO ASSIST IN INVESTING THIS MONEY, BUT I WILL NOT WANT MY IDENTITY REVEALED.

Hmmmmm…. “OUT MODALITIES.”

I suspect that means, “the means of getting funds out of your bank account such that it would either be totally ineffective, or you would be too embarrassed, to report our theft to the authorities.

I WILL ALSO WANT TO BUY PROPERTIES AND STOCK IN MULTI-NATIONAL COMPANIES AND TO ENGAGE IN OTHER SAFE AND NON-SPECULATIVE INVESTMENTS. MAY I AT THIS POINT EMPHASISE THE HIGH LEVEL OF CONFIDENTIALITY, WHICH THIS BUSINESS DEMANDS, AND HOPE YOU WILL NOT BETRAY THE TRUST AND CONFIDENCE, WHICH I REPOSE IN YOU. IN CONCLUSION, IF YOU WANT TO ASSIST US , MY SON SHALL PUT YOU IN THE PICTURE OF THE BUSINESS, TELL YOU WHERE THE FUNDS ARE CURRENTLY BEING MAINTAINED AND ALSO DISCUSS OTHER MODALITIES INCLUDING REMUNERATION FOR YOUR SERVICES.

Yes, as always, your secret is safe with me. And the readers of my weblog.

FOR THIS REASON KINDLY FURNISH US YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION, THAT IS YOUR PERSONAL TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER FOR CONFIDENTIAL PURPOSE AND ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL USING THE ABOVE EMAIL ADDRESS.

What?! You don’t want my bank account number?

BEST REGARDS,

MRS M. SESE SEKO

And my best regards to you…

[he wrote as the spam was posted to the FBI, who will ignore it, because they are too busy figuring out how to cover up their incompetence in the terrorist attacks of the last year, and the eight years of coverups in the Clinton Administration…)

“Isn’tapundit” (not to be confused with the established brand, and who really needs to get more readable colors on his site) aka Tom “Dipnut” Perry, has posted a much more detailed analysis of Fukuyama’s latest, in which his slam at libertarians as Simon Legrees is the least of the problems.

“Isn’tapundit” (not to be confused with the established brand, and who really needs to get more readable colors on his site) aka Tom “Dipnut” Perry, has posted a much more detailed analysis of Fukuyama’s latest, in which his slam at libertarians as Simon Legrees is the least of the problems.

“Isn’tapundit” (not to be confused with the established brand, and who really needs to get more readable colors on his site) aka Tom “Dipnut” Perry, has posted a much more detailed analysis of Fukuyama’s latest, in which his slam at libertarians as Simon Legrees is the least of the problems.

There’s an interesting thread over at Free Republic, ostensibly posted by a Freeper in the Netherlands, about a group grope in a public swimming pool. The original article is in Dutch, which, while my sister lives near Hilversum, is not a language that I can translate confidently. But it’s there for those who want to see the original. The commentary itself is interesting.

An excerpt from the English translation provided by the poster:

The direction of ‘De Tongelreep’ took stringent precautions five years ago after especially boys from immigrant descent regularly sexually assaulted girls. Most perpetrators have to undergo therapy and learn how to adapt to Dutch moral standards.

Also all other swimming pools in the Netherlands seem to have these kind of problems. “Some guests have to learn to keep their fingers to themselves, not to touch the girls. We do not tolerate this behavior”, says Heesterbeek.

“…learn how to adapt to Dutch moral standards…” How quaint. I guess that means, among other things, to respect women, which is something that they’ve had a rough time getting their Islamic immigrants to accept. “Immigrant” in this case, I think we can safely assume, is code for “Muslim immigrant.”

One person is claiming that the saying over there now is “the bullet came from the left.”

Drudge says that David Brock has been committed to a mental ward.

Our favorite homeless mullah says that they’re just waiting for a shipment of anti-aircraft missiles, and then they’ll chase the infidels out. There was no discussion as to whether or not he was still living in his car. Maybe it’s been repossessed.

If this happens, I’ll know that the Administration is serious about fixing our intelligence problems.

Robert Musil is appropriately brutal on Senator Jim “Benedict Arnold” Jeffords’ recent bout of megalomania.

A guy in California has actually patented a phaser that can stun from a distance. The UK defence forces are interested.

[Update at 2:57 PM PDT]

I should add, that I don’t think it will work. The ability to transmit a charge through such a “tunnel” has been demonstrated, but I think that it’s unlikely that it would reliably “stun” an individual. It would need a lot of power, which means a heavy battery pack, and even then, the effects on human physiology would be unpredictable. It might render him unconscious, it might kill him, it might make him mad. Life’s not like the movies…