No, this isn’t about the upper stage. Glad someone is asking the important questions:
Serious question for #medtwitter: If you show up at a code, and the patient is a centaur who had a cardiac arrest, ignoring the joules question, where do you think the defib pads should go? A, assuming the heart is in the human part, or B, assuming the heart is in the horse part? pic.twitter.com/OJt9haEgx3
— Fred Wu, MD (@FredWuMD) July 28, 2018
The replies are great.
Everyone knows that centaurs have two hearts.
Yes, but does a centaur have two (cough), you know?
Trick question. When dealing with living being (as opposed to an undead, a construct, or the nebulous “living construct” category) that is demonstrating a clear indication of having a negative HP value, the proper response is to *immediately* stabilize the patient by casting Cure Wounds, or any of its variants (see: Cure Minor Wounds, Cure Light Wounds, CURA/CURB, etc.).
Once the centaur has been stabilized and is no longer in immediate danger of death, further analysis as to the cause of the ailment (Poison? Curse? Spell-induced Status Effect?) and any necessary follow-up actions can be determined.
Remember: bring a healing wand with at LEAST ten (10) charges to all calls, just in case you run low on prepared spells/mana. 15 Gold for a single use may sound like a fortune to a young med school student, but the alternative is a diamond worth 10,000 Gold (plus the labor fee for a specialist capable of casting Resurrection, which in most markets is substantial). NHS, in particular, has begun prohibiting the study and use of Resurrection in order to control costs, and here in the US, Medicare can take months to reimburse for it, and most Bronze and Silver plans do not pay for it at all.