NARRATOR
This is the teaching laboratory of Baraku Obamasawa, Japan’s greatest living scientist. A world renowned expert with an advanced degree in social engineering from Hokkaido Law School, by the age of 23 he had already written 2 textbooks on the world’s strangest phenomenon — himself. His is a scientist so advanced that he has already earned a Nobel Prize for work he has yet to begin. Today, he is showing students his latest discovery.
OBAMASAWA
… now note as I apply a blowtorch to this pile of 10 million yen, it is converted to ash — thereby creating jobs for these two janitors from the Nippon Custodian Union.
students applaud wildly
STUDENTS
Domo arigato, sensei! We are very honored to be your students. [giggle] You have given us hope and tingles up our kimonos!
How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you. I’ve never trusted either of them, actually.
Seriously, don’t fool yourself. The only thing that keeps your cat from killing you is that you’re way too big. If you were mouse sized, you wouldn’t last a minute, no matter how affectionate they are to the normal-sized you.
Jim Treacher’s busted-up knee. Nice way to make material out of a hit’n’run. But if he sets up a Facebook page for any other body parts, I don’t want to hear about it.
