Category Archives: Satire

Pro-German Protesters Demand Ceasefire

WASHINGTON (Routers) — February 16th, 1945

The National Mall was filled with dozens of angry pro-German protesters wearing Swastika armbands today demanding an end to the genocide in Germany by the Roosevelt administration and an immediate ceasefire in the Allied advance past the Rhine. Many of them were students from Columbia and Harvard Universities.

“Dresden has been leveled, and millions, including children and babies, have been murdered! Women and girls of all ages are being raped in eastern Germany by the Russians!,” shouted one of the marchers, amid chants of “Vom Fluss bis zum Meer wird Deutschland frei sein!” (From the river to the sea, Germany shall be free) and “Free Germany!” When asked which river or sea, few could name either, though a handful said that the river was probably the Danube.

In response to charges that the Germans had been running death camps in places like Auschwitz in Poland, the protest leaders cried out “Soviet lies! The Germans are simply seeking liberation from the Jewish settlers who have been oppressing them for centuries! They are simply demanding their birthright of liebensraum.”

A State Department spokesman attempted to be diplomatic. “We understand the concerns of the pro-Germans for the German people, but civilians die in war. There can be no talk of a ceasefire until all of the Allied prisoners have been released, the camp residents liberated, and the Nazis out of power. Germany started this war by invading first Poland, then France, and this is the consequence of it. We simply cannot leave Hitler in power in Germany, or we know that he will attack France again. He has stated as his goal the conquest of all of Europe, and beyond. We must finish the job.”

However, the protesters were not appeased, continuing to demand that the Allies immediately lay down their arms, chanting “This is what decolonization looks like!” The protests are expected to continue until the protesters’ demands are met.

The World In Panic

…as science announces retirement.

[Afternoon update]

On a more serious note, the downfall of “America’s doctor.”

We should never again allow one bureaucrat to accumulate that much power and influence.

[Wednesday-morning update]

Good riddance to Fauci and his calamitous, costly career.


[Update Thursday afternoon]

Dr. Fauci’s legacy.

Makary (and Bhattacharya, and others) was right all along, and Fauci was basically wrong all along.