Or maybe just the garden variety.

I was driving through Santa Barbara (and Yes, Barbara, the proposal is done (I can’t say “Yes, Virginia” because it makes Virginia Postrel upset, and that’s the last thing that I like to do)), and the traffic was kind of…horrid. There’s a two-lane bottleneck at the south end of town that I don’t know what they’re going to do about, because you’d have to tear up a lot of valuable real estate to expand it. I suppose I should be glad that at least the freeway goes through all the way, as it didn’t in the eighties, when I used to have several traffic lights through that stretch.

But I digress, as is my wont.

Anyway, I got stuck behind a vehicle. With bumper stickers. It had a Wisconsin plate. From a dealer in Madison.

Can you guess what the car-ass adornments said?

I knew you could.

Here they are, to the best of my recollection.

On the upper right window, there was one that said “Iraq War, NO!” Below it was another, even dumber, that said, “End Iraq Sanctions.” To its left was one that said, “I’d rather be smashing imperialism.” (Is there a market for a bumper sticker that says “I’d rather be smashing bumper-sticker idiotarianism”?). And of course, in the upper left, the eye scanned the obligatory “Free Mumia.”

Did you guess correctly? Good.

Now here’s the tough part. Guess the make and model of the auto.

Oh, what the heck, I’ll give points for just the make.

[Cue, quiz show theme song]

Dum dee dum dum dum dee dum.

Dum dee dum dum DUM…de da da da da

Dum dee dum dum dum dee dum.

DUM de dum dee dum dum dum.

[/end game song]

Anyone guess?

I know, Volvo, right?

Nope.

Then, it must have been an older Japanese econobug. Right?

Nope.

It was an Infiniti.

And not just any Infiniti. It was an Infinity QX4.

That’s right. It wasn’t just the brand of the Evil White Imperialist Patriarchal Capitalist (TM). It was [gasp] an SUV!

Never before have I seen such a politically-incorrect vehicle fraught with such politically-correct bumper stickerage. I almost felt sorry for it. I wanted to pull the owner over and lecture them, but who knows, they might have been totally deranged and pulled a gun on me…