7 thoughts on “She Makes A Compelling Case”

  1. Her premise that the Americans “won” the War of 1812 is a bit of a stretch. There are many parks and monuments commemorating battles from the war in Canada. There is only one national historic battlefield park in the US. It’s in Michigan and it was a British victory. The Treaty of Ghent actually returned territory held by the British to the US. Arguably, the two greatest military leaders from the land war were Sir Isaac Brock and Tecumseh. Tragically, both were killed in battle, an unfortunate occupational hazard in British military history.

    1. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no! – Bluto

      Frankly Britain deported it’s “hearty breed” to Australia to serve out their terms. I would say against Aussies it’s Aussie vs US at 1:1 or maybe even 1:3 Gen Z (see link).

      Never pick a fight with a guy wearing a croc skin jacket.
      Fortunately, we are on good terms with the land of Oz. We should keep it that way. I like Oz and Kiwi folks. They’re fun people.

  2. The only battle we won in the War of 1812 was the battle of New Orleans and that occured after the peace treaty was signed. The Brits burned DC.

    1. As you point out, New Orleans was a couple of weeks after the treaty of Ghent. The Americans won the Battle of the River Thames, which occurred after the death of Brock. The British leadership at that point of the war was pretty pathetic, and Tecumseh was a bit disgusted with them. When the Brits abandoned him, Tecumseh was killed in the battle. Another US “win” was the capture of York (aka Toronto), but when the British blew up the magazine of Fort York to prevent its capture by the Americans, over a hundred American soldiers were killed, including the commander, Zebulon Pike. The Americans were so incensed that they burned down the town, including the parliament building and they stole the mace! In retaliation, the Royal Navy dropped off some troops to burn DC Federal buildings, including the White House. The US did well in naval encounters on the Great Lakes, but on land, they were pretty useless, e.g., Mackinac Island, Capture of Detroit, Queenston Heights, Crisler’s Farm, Quebec City, Chateauguay, River Raisin and finally Lundy’s Lane. The US wanted peace after their ally, Napoleon Bonaparte, was defeated and exiled to Elba.

      Trivia point: in the movie Master and Commander, the “bad guys” are the French in 1805 iirc, but in the book, the bad guys are the Americans in 1812.

    2. Yes, the British burned Washington DC during the War of 1812. And to think, in all this time, we’ve never had the decency to thank them.

  4. Let me tell you who those bad guys are. They’re us. WE BE BAD. We’re the baddest-assed sons of bitches that ever jogged in Reeboks. We’re three-quarters grizzly bear and two-thirds car wreck and descended from a stock market crash on our mother’s side. You take your Germany, France, and Spain, roll them all together and it wouldn’t give us room to park our cars. We’re the big boys, Jack, the original, giant, economy-sized, new and improved butt kickers of all time. When we snort coke in Houston, people lose their hats in Cap d’Antibes. And we’ve got an American Express card credit limit higher than your piss-ant metric numbers go. You say our country’s never been invaded? You’re right, little buddy. Because I’d like to see the needle-dicked foreigners who’d have the guts to try. We drink napalm to get our hearts started in the morning. A rape and a mugging is our way of saying ‘Cheerio.’ Hell can’t hold our sock-hops. We walk taller, talk louder, spit further, fuck longer and buy more things than you know the names of. I’d rather be a junkie in a New York City jail than king, queen, and jack of all Europeans. We eat little countries like this for breakfast and shit them out before lunch. — P.J. O’Rourke

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