Grading His First Semester

President Obama’s report card:

Subject: History Grade: F Comment: Among Barry’s weakest subjects. He experiences great difficulty identifying his centuries and has very little grasp of historical facts and events. As well, he shows a distinct aversion to diligent research. His instructor was particularly dismayed by his inability to tally the number of states in the union.

Subject: Political Science Grade: F Comment: A field of study which Barry would do well to avoid in the future. Fundamental ideas in statecraft appear alien to him. His romantic view of the world and his assumption of personal infallibility breed complacency rather than proficiency.

Subject: Economics Grade: F Comment: Barry shows no understanding of economic theory and seems incapable of mastering the complexities of the discipline. His class projects have advocated solutions to topic problems which would lead to disastrous results in the application.

Subject: Self-Esteem Grade: A++ Comment: A course only recently added to the syllabus. Barry led his cohort group by a wide margin and even exceeded the degree of instructor expertise.

Sounds like there’s room for improvement. But unfortunately, he’s the teacher’smedia’s pet.

3 thoughts on “Grading His First Semester”

  1. Subject: Mathematics Grade: F Comment: Barry has struggled with basic addition and subtraction and typically fails to show his work to the Congressional Budget Office (CBO). Instead of buckling down and doing the work, he has attempted to beg and cojole the CBO for a better grade. I recommend remediation in this academic discipline and some counseling regarding his attitude toward and interaction with the teacher.

  2. Subject: Public Speaking: C-

    Barry is incapable of speaking clearly without extensive use of a teleprompter. Despite his supposed intelligence, his dependence on a crutch weakens his message and underscores his lack of real life accomplishment prior to his current position.

  3. Sounds pretty much like most “liberals” I’ve ever encountered, except for the self-esteem part. However, I grew up and lived most of my adult life in Manhattan, where the average lib was a neurotic who had a self-esteem level, to use Woody Allen’s immortal phrase, “one notch below Kafka’s.” You have to be pretty self-loathing to want to be a serf of the State. The people who actually run the State, on the other hand, must think very highly of themselves to think they have the right to push other people around. So the self-loathers and the power-hungry self-loathers have this nice S & M relationship going on for themselves.

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