Some Advice For Obama

…from the previous most powerful writer in history:

No doubt the brother would rather lay down the slapahoe against his domestic haters, but even then he’s just a punkass Roman wannabe. Take this Fox News / radio orators thing. Plebeian bitches serve him some straightup insolent haterade, and what does Obamacus do? Sends out his Praetorian guards to whine like pu**ies and rattle their fasces. Yo Obamacus, Rome up your s**t! If you knew the first thing about handlin’ your s**t SPQR-style, you’d be turning Capitol Hill into Crucifixion Hill. Glennus Beckus? Boom! Up on the cross, bitch. Rushus Limbavus? Boom! You been served. Shit, send the survivors a bill for the nails. Believe the Juice, if you want to consolidate power and keep it real with your base, start lining that Washington Mall with Fox talking heads. Up on pikes.

Same thing with these tea party douchebags. Back in the BC, a mack dictator like the Juice didn’t put up with that open rebellion s**t. Come on player, get your game on! Confiscate that damn football stadium you got sitting over across the Potomac, and get yourself a couple bargeloads of pit lions from the Ethiopians. Let’s see how those teabaggers enjoy being the halftime entertainment at the Redskins-Giants game. LMAO bitches, thumbs down. And believe me, nothing boosts an imperator’s public approval rating like turning the opposition into lion snausages. Your loyal plebes will love it, and after the games you can hand out free bread. And healthcare.

They just don’t make dictators like they used to.

2 thoughts on “Some Advice For Obama”

  1. Cute, but he’s confusing GJC with Sulla. July’s big mistake was pardoning too many of his haters – they’re the ones who got together & knifed his ass under the stone eyes of Gneus the Pompous. Sulla, on the other hand, didn’t shiv – he painted the Aventine Hill red with the gore of his many enemies, and exterminated the Samnites to a man.

  2. I’ve personally seen this in action. How the government first gains control of the media is to restrict the news leaks and stories only to the favored reporters. Then they offer them perks. Then they threaten to take it all away if they don’t report exactly what the government wants. The reporters are then, “on the hook”. No access, no job.

    Or, as one reporter told me, “This is the way reporting is supposed to be. I’m a good reporter.” – even though he had just written a long article that trashed the real victim in favor of the county government who had violated the laws.

    Well, I got him fired eventually, but he’s the perfect illustration of the press today. After he was fired, he went to work for the San Francisco Comical where his career, I’m sure, flourished.

Comments are closed.