There’s Got To Be A Story
…behind every one of these dumb warning labels. One that no doubt goes down in the annals of stupidity.
[Via Geek Press]
Biting Commentary about Infinity…and Beyond!
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Author
Rand Simberg: just a recovering aerospace engineer.
November 13th, 2009 at 8:39 am
My family calls the most egregious examples of warning labels such as these “Slime Trails.” If it has to say, “do not use this printer underwater,” it’s a sure bet that a lawyer has passed by recently, hence the name.
November 13th, 2009 at 9:09 am
The story behind some of them involves photoshop, actually, just like the “funny road signs” pictures. The label for the dog’s medication is pretty standard fare for human drugs that are prescribed for dogs, too.
Not sure who came up with that french clothing label, though. I’m sure it was made between 2001 and 2008, but it applies more today than it did then, IMHO.
November 13th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Yeah, the clothing label thing is nice. I love how enlightened people are that they can fight the brave fight against oppression by sewing things into clothing labels in other languages.
How subversive of them…
November 13th, 2009 at 10:04 am
I love how the product with the French label is also one of those handwash only/dry flat kind of tiresome pieces of clothing. “Organic” clothing is usually mostly like that — washers ‘n’ dryers are bad for the environment! The idea is apparently that we should all wash our clothes in a stream and spread them to dry on rocks in the sun, like Indian peasant women.
November 13th, 2009 at 10:34 am
It’s pretty easy to be stupid enough to injure yourself. Apparently any folding knives I own should have a label reading “Do not use to poke holes in tennis balls. There is a 25% chance of injury.”
Also automated donut makers should have a warning sign, “Do not attempt repair using improvised tools when the machine is operating and the grease is hot.”
I guess I am not personally litiguous enough.
Yours,
Tom
November 13th, 2009 at 11:45 am
Not if the people who are, live long enough to reproduce.
If anything it needs to be made easier. Darwin is an impatient god!
November 13th, 2009 at 4:09 pm
My personal favorite was as getting older and less bolder I bought a Body Glove Snorkel Vest. This is basically a “Mae West” type gadget, the idea being if you get in trouble you inflate the vest. Imagine my surprise when I read this,”WARNING, this device is not meant to be used as a life saving device!”
Oh why bother?
November 14th, 2009 at 11:38 am
From Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy
Chapter 31
WE APOLOGISE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE
* The sign said:
Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion.
“It seemed to me,” said Wonko the Sane, “that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a packet of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.”
November 14th, 2009 at 1:07 pm
Check back with me in October 2010. I should have a supply of stickers for voting machines which read: “Voting for persons with a (D) in front of their name result in extreme loss of liberty and the ability to pursue happiness.”
November 18th, 2009 at 5:29 am
Regarding the fact that there are instuctions on the side of a box of toothpicks – Same with shampoo:
Lather.
Rinse.
Repeat.
I don’t know about you, but I’m just glad they didn’t go through that whole rigmarole a second time.