Sometimes It’s Just Too Simple

Scientists discover possible cause of the current heat wave:

“Our measurements indicate the massive amount of energy this thing gives off is able to travel 93 million miles and reach our planet is as little as eight and a half minutes,” said Professor Mitch Kivens, an astronomer at the California Institute of Technology. “While we can’t see them, we’re fairly certain these infrared rays strike Earth’s surface, become trapped by the atmosphere, and just heat everything up like a great big oven.”

“We originally thought that if this star was producing temperatures of 100-plus in the South and Midwest, it must be at least 100 degrees itself,” Kivens added. “But it turns out it’s far, far hotter than that, with a surface temperature of nearly 10,900 degrees Fahrenheit.”

Kivens and his CalTech colleagues said this intense radiation, which results from constant nuclear reactions converting hydrogen to helium in the star’s core, could also account for why the orb in the sky is extremely bright and difficult to stare at directly.

Remember, correlation is not causation.

9 thoughts on “Sometimes It’s Just Too Simple

  1. ken anthony

    FDT said all the planets were getting warmer for the same reason. That’s just crazy talk.

  2. ken anthony

    Good point Josh. Lot’s of crying on wall st. today 635 down. Are we going to beat that tomorrow?

  3. McGehee

    It would be the first time in history heat ever traveled millions of miles with no air to carry it!

    /Rosie O.

    <retch> I really have to stop doing that.

  4. Akatsukami

    Kivens and his CalTech colleagues said this intense radiation, which results from constant nuclear reactions converting hydrogen to helium in the star’s core, could also account for why the orb in the sky is extremely bright and difficult to stare at directly.

    “Constant nuclear reactions”? We’re all going to die of cancer or something!

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