Political Particle Physics

Iowahawk reports on a new pseudoscientific breakthough:

The landmark experiment in Quantum Rhetoric began early this week after legal particle cosmologist John Roberts published a paper in the Quarterly Journal of Tortured Logic that solved the long-debated Pelosi’s Paradox in Universal Health Care Theory.

“Pelosi’s Paradox states that in order to find out what is in a health care bill, it would have to be passed,” explained physicist Steven Hawking. “But in order to be a law it would have to be constitutional, which means someone would have to know what was in it, which would mean it couldn’t have been a bill in the first place. Think of Schroedinger’s Cat, except with a lobotomy.”

Actually, I don’t think that Nancy Pelosi has the requisite equipment for a lobotomy.

2 thoughts on “Political Particle Physics”

  1. Seems that Quantum Rhetoric has the strange property of being both a tax and a penalty at the same time, as well as being both neither a tax or penalty. Hmmm, I think we need Feynman in here to subtract some infinities so this can all begin to make some sense to us.

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