Why You’re Too Dumb To Vote

Five reasons:

Miss Dunham, reflecting celebrity culture at large, makes a fetish of voting, and it is easy to see why: Voting is the most shallow gesture of citizenship there is, the issuance of a demand — a statement that “this is how the world should be,” as Miss Dunham puts it — imposing nothing in the way of reciprocal responsibility. Power without responsibility — Stanley Baldwin would not have been surprised that Miss Dunham and likeminded celebrities think of voting in terms of their sex lives. Miss Dunham, in an earlier endorsement of Barack Obama, compared voting in the presidential election to losing one’s virginity — you want it to be someone special. Understood that way, voting is nothing other than a reiteration of the original infantile demand: “I Want!”

As a procedure for sorting out complex policy issues, voting is of distinctly limited value: If you wanted to know whether the compressive strength of a particular material were sufficient to support a bridge over Interstate 20, you would not go about solving that problem by bundling that question with 10,000 other equally precise and complex but largely unrelated questions, presenting the bundle of questions to the least-informed few million people you could identify, and then proceeding with whatever solution 50 percent +1 of them preferred. That would be a bad way to build a bridge — a homicidal way, in fact — and though it is a necessary instrument of accountability in a democratic republic, voting properly plays a very limited role. For instance, we have a Bill of Rights, which could with equal accuracy be called the List of Stuff You Idiots Can’t Be Trusted To Vote On. A majority of Americans don’t like free speech? Too bad, Harry Reid.

But for Miss Dunham et al., this isn’t a question of citizenship — it’s a therapeutic matter. Voting, she promises, will offer “a sense of accomplishment,” knowledge that one has done the right thing, even “joy.” But checking a box is the most trivial accomplishment imaginable; having done so is no guarantee that one has done the right thing, inasmuch as voters routinely make bad decisions for evil reasons; and one suspects that Miss Dunham means something different and less by “joy” than did, say, Beethoven or Walt Whitman. “I wore fishnets and a little black dress to vote,” she writes, “then walked around with a spring in my slinky step. It lasted for days. I can summon it when I’m blue. It’s more effective than exercise or ecstasy or cheesecake.” And that of course is the highest purpose of our ancient constitutional order: to provide adult children with pleasures exceeding those of cheesecake or empathogenic phenethylamines.

It is very depressing.

7 thoughts on “Why You’re Too Dumb To Vote”

  1. We’d get better results if we limited the vote to only first children with three siblings.

    The left would go mad (oh, that’s redundant isn’t it?) making sure only the right families had four children.

  2. The left will tell us that getting everyone to vote is a good thing, because it makes the voter feel like they have a role, feel good about themselves, feel involved…

    It makes sense to let the uninformed vote… every bit as much sense as letting the blind drive, as letting a random guy off the street stroll into a hospital to perform surgery, as letting somebody totally ignorant of engineering engineer a new bridge. Sure, it might make ’em feel good, but the consequences would be disastrous.

    1. Do Englishmen seriously believe their votes are anything other than advisory to the Queen?

      Vestigial powers that remain with archaic political entities on the condition that they always be used in the manner prescribed by the relevant modern political forces, are of no practical relevance. Yes, even if the law hasn’t been formally updated to reflect that – because it will be, immediately, if anyone tries to play the sort of game you seem to be implying.

      The popular vote, fairly counted, is in fact the way that most of the Western world choses its leaders, and that’s not going to change any time soon. For better or for worse.

  3. It is very depressing.

    On the contrary, Kevin’s writing almost always puts a smile on my face. He employs English and wit masterfully.

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