26 thoughts on “If Donald Trump Wrote A Research Paper”

    1. You forgot accurate, it was a funny and accurate representation of Trump’s way of thinking and talking, Trump really does go on and on like that, no substance, everyone else is either “great” or “losers”, and Trumps always the first, comes up with the idea first, sees the truth first, invents toothpaste first.
      A blow hard narcissist, I guess some people admire blow hard narcissists.

  1. You forgot accurate

    It’s funny because it’s largely true. It is not accurate.

    Most people speak with a high noise ratio. Most people couldn’t handle a much less noisy communication. It would be too terse. Listen carefully to any good story teller and you will be amazed at how much non information is part of the story. Spoken and written language is quite different in this regard.

    Going through air traffic control training they used to record our simulations. During the sims they used to march the following class (a month behind us) through to observe us, but we were so focused we didn’t realize there were 18 people standing a foot behind us. Later when listening to the tape which we thought would be filled with our non stop chatter we were surprised to find them almost completely blank. That’s because we only transmitted content without the noise (which our brains continued to fill in as if it were going to the tape.)

    Trump’s supporters are hearing the meat of what Trump is saying. His detractors hear only this example. Which is why you call it accurate when it is verifiably not.

  2. Well, I thought it was really, no kidding, just yes. The best, yes, because it had the greatest, I’ve seen the greatest, and I know the greatest.

    So, yes.

    1. We have, ya know, talk like, and really it is the best, a pirate day. So when Trump gets elected, because it’s a movement really and he’s so far ahead in the polls, which the lying media, they are the worst, we should have talk like a Trumpet day? Can I say Trumpet. Is that ok? ok! So really, it could be like a new movement because everybody loves me and they all work for me and I love them.

  3. Funny, yes, but wrong.

    Trump does what he does because it works. There’s no denying that it does. This wouldn’t work if it was a real research paper. You know it, and he’d know it. He’d write what works.

    1. Yes, con artists do what they do because it works.

      He wouldn’t know how to write a research paper. He has a very limited repertoire. If he had to write a research paper, that’s the only way he’d know how to do it.

      1. Everybody has a limited repertoire. As president Trump is going to do something (whatever that might be.) Most people would bet he will continue to do what he’s doing now… confound the media. If he only continues to do that, he provides cover for conservatives to work their agenda… but that wont work if they join with democrats in attacking Trump. When he’s right, as he is with the network of La Raza affiliates (which is the shell game the left plays well) the right should back him 100%. You don’t have to like the man to use the man.

        It goes against Trump’s nature to not attack the frauds. You would leave him to fight alone when it is undeniably our fight and for the first time since Reagan we’ve got someone (even conman if you insist) that can win a fight with the media?

      2. Actually, it reads a lot like my engineering Master’s thesis…which won a Nebula Award, I’ll have you know.

  4. Everyone does what works.

    It’s funny, but not accurate.
    Though it’s exaggeration of mimicking what works for Trump, which is exaggeration.
    Also obviously it’s written- people talk different than they write- which of course part of the humor of it.

      1. It would be extraordinary if Trump writes the same as he talks.

        It would be impressive and a wonder, and if true, and if the case I would think you should reconsider your habit of saying that he is a con man.

        He might be a different species of human or he has had a very weird education.

        If true, a possible explanation could be either biological or cultural or both.
        For instance he might have a variant of autism.
        If such weirdness were the case, it seems someone would have mention it.
        Or even more likely, Trump would be bragging about it.

        1. I doubt if Trump writes much at all, but I’ve seen a press release from him that was written pretty much the way he talks. He certainly tweets like he talks.

  5. I can’t help but think that this story in an unholy mix with the preceding #science story could be comedy gold. I think it would be titled something like “Why Losers Disagree With Me” and it would a study, really the best out there, for determining why losers disagree with Trump and whether we can do anything for them aside from pity their loserness.

  6. What an excellent parody, it was really funny, but it was way too long, like a bad SNL skit, sad!

    One thing I know for sure, we need to make comedy great again. Our comics are stupid. They’re getting killed by bad sets. They’re too scared to make fun of Obama. You think our stupid comics will make fun of Hillary? Not if they love their cats. They’re cowards!

    Elect me and our comics will be funny again, this I can promise you. We are going to hire the best writers. People all over the country will be making great jokes again, really really great jokes.

    You are going to laugh so hard, so hard you will physically be in pain, maybe even cry! But in a good way folks, a good way. These sleazeball journalists are going to say I want to make everyone cry, that’s not true, just Hillary.

      1. Now you’re accusing Trump of being able to read?… He’s just conned us into believing he can read… like that girl in Alaska that everyone knows, thanks to sweetheart Couric who like Cronkite is the most trusted journalist in the universe,, is so dumb but accidentally gets everything right.

          1. He could be a robot that uses a scientific approach to appeal to emotions. I hope he is like that little human robot from AI and not HAL.

          2. I’m agreeing with you Rand. He’s conned us into believing he can read and write, but you see right through it.

            He’s probably not even college educated. He’s so rich that he probably paid someone else to do the work, uh except he’s lying about being rich.

            All those projects he did around the world are fakes as well. I bet those aren’t even his kids working for him. I mean, his wife (if that really is his wife?) doesn’t even speak english good… or any of those other languages which I’m sure are lies as well.

      2. The internet has been playing this game for months now. But, just like with a critical media, a President Trump would mean comedians making fun of the President again.

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