Report Vindicates CBS Reporting

NEW YORK (APUPI) After several months, many thousands of legal hours billed, and several barrels of latte consumed, the independent report on CBS’ flawed reporting of the Emperor’s new clothes has been released, to the relief of network executives who feared much worse. While several producers have been asked to resign, Dan Rather will continue to report on Imperial fashion, and the report verified that the story may still have been fake, but accurate.

The network had previously reported that the Emperor had a new wardrobe, and provided footage of him walking down the street in it, waving to the crowds. But after a little boy at the anti-Imperial Free Republic website pointed out that the Emperor was, in fact, dressed only in his birthday suit, a media storm broke out over the apparent controversy, putting Dan Rather and his network on the defensive, and resulting in the appointment of an independent commission to discover how such apparent misreporting had happened.

The commission got quickly to work, and investigated the situation in great depth, carefully examining the footage themselves, and visited web sites in which several bloggers had taken pictures of themselves with and without clothing, to demonstrate the difference. They also spent many exhaustive hours viewing and documenting scholarly sites on the internet, as other potential examples of clothesless individuals for comparison.

In addition, they interviewed several clothing experts, one of whom demonstrated himself in a full flesh-colored body suit to show how one could appear to be naked while fully clothed. A self-proclaimed professor of Nude Queer Theory at Berkeley even wrote a dissertation on how it was possible, and even likely, for homophobic audiences to fantasize a nude Emperor out of subliminal fear of the power of the nude male body. This study was roundly criticized by numerous bloggers, particularly when it was revealed that he had no actual credentials other than occasional weekends at nude beaches in Santa Cruz. In any event, it should be noted that no one so far has been able to produce a body suit that exactly replicates the nude look in the same manner as simply taking off one’s clothes.

According to the report “…after a thorough scrutiny of the footage of the Emperor’s march down the street, it’s impossible to find the slightest shred of clothing on him. Closeups show every pore and wrinkle on his body. Moles and other imperfections displayed on the Imperial body during the parade appear to match exactly royal medical records reluctantly supplied to this commission by the palace physician.”

The report continues, “…nonetheless, some experts claim that it’s possible to be fully garbed and yet appear to be naked, and in the face of conflicting data, we will probably never be able to know for certain whether or not he indeed was wearing any clothes.”

The report added, as additional and similar examples of the evidentiary state, that it is similarly impossible to authenticate with certainty whether or not O. J. Simpson murdered his wife, or Americans walked on the moon in 1969, or even whether or not the sun will rise tomorrow.

In addition, despite the fact that the producer of the program coordinated closely with the Imperial clothing industry in the production of the story, including breathless emails that said “I’d give anything to show how fabulous these new clothes are, and show up those skinflints who think that an Imperial wardrobe is a waste of taxpayer funds,” and a bumper sticker on her car saying “End Second-Class Royal Threads!,” there was no obvious political motivation for the rush to air of the parade.

Beleaguered CBS anchorman Dan Rather took the report as vindication as well. “If it ever, improbably, turns out that the Emperor really wasn’t wearing any clothes, I want to be the one to break that story,” he exclaimed. “I’d be as anxious as an armadillo in a flak-jacket factory to get that story out.”

A Year Later

On a day that we have for the first time landed a probe on another planet’s moon, it is also the first anniversary of the day that President Bush announced a new direction for our nation’s space activities. I don’t use the phrase “space program,” because I hope that it will be much more than that. To paraphrase the Space Frontier Foundation’s motto, it’s a vision, not a program.

How are we doing?

Well, while the president (probably wisely) didn’t emphasize it in any way after the announcement, NASA has moved forward in implementing it, with a new Exploration Systems Mission Directorate, with a new and apparently able man in charge (Admiral Steidle, of Joint-Strike Fighter fame). After the recent election, he (along with Tom Delay) ensured that it received full funding for the current fiscal year (in the face of budget cuts for almost all other domestic programs). Exploration architecture studies were let, technology studies have been selected, and an RFP is about to be released for the first phase of development of the Crew Exploration Vehicle. I’ve been spending this week in Houston at a fairly intense workshop to work out many of the implementation issues, in support of one of those architecture studies.

This could all be contrasted with the response of his father’s announcement in 1989, in which the project was immediately ridiculed in the media and the Congress, the NASA administrator worked behind the scenes to sabotage it on the Hill, NASA came out with an unaffordable price tag for it, and it died within a couple years.

I have many issues with the implementation of it (that I won’t go into now), but it has many promising aspects, and if we’re going to be spending government funds on manned space, they’re probably being spent more effectively now that they have been since the end of Apollo (and perhaps in the history of NASA). If you’re interested in what I had to say about it at the time, I actually had quite a bit. Just go here and scroll down to mid month, then scroll back up.

My real hope for our expansion into the cosmos continues to lie with the private sector, but it’s nice to, for the first time in decades, not feel utterly hopeless about prospects for the government civil space sector.

Thank you, Mr. President.

DNS Culprit Found?

Could this explain all the DNS problems that I and others have been having?

One troublesome technique finding favor with spammers involves sending mass mailings in the middle of the night from a domain that has not yet been registered. After the mailings go out, the spammer registers the domain early the next morning.

By doing this, spammers hope to avoid stiff CAN-SPAM fines through minimal exposure and visibility with a given domain. The ruse, they hope, makes them more difficult to find and prosecute.

The scheme, however, has unintended consequences of its own. During the interval between mailing and registration, the SMTP servers on the recipients’ networks attempt Domain Name System look-ups on the nonexistent domain, causing delays and timeouts on the DNS servers and backups in SMTP message queues.

If so, it’s just one more reason to make spamming a capital offense.

“Myopic Zeal”

They had “myopic zeal,” all right. Myopic zeal to see John Kerry elected.

If it was only myopic zeal for a story, there were plenty of other much better documented and valid stories about which to be myopically zealous, including Christmas in Cambodia, earning a medal for cutting and running, less-than-honorable discharges…the list goes on. They could have had a scoop on those, since no other MSM organization wanted to pursue them either.

But for some reason their “myopic zeal” was confined to only one candidate, just weeks before the election. To think that there was no political bias here would be laughable if it weren’t so tragic.

“Myopic Zeal”

They had “myopic zeal,” all right. Myopic zeal to see John Kerry elected.

If it was only myopic zeal for a story, there were plenty of other much better documented and valid stories about which to be myopically zealous, including Christmas in Cambodia, earning a medal for cutting and running, less-than-honorable discharges…the list goes on. They could have had a scoop on those, since no other MSM organization wanted to pursue them either.

But for some reason their “myopic zeal” was confined to only one candidate, just weeks before the election. To think that there was no political bias here would be laughable if it weren’t so tragic.

“Myopic Zeal”

They had “myopic zeal,” all right. Myopic zeal to see John Kerry elected.

If it was only myopic zeal for a story, there were plenty of other much better documented and valid stories about which to be myopically zealous, including Christmas in Cambodia, earning a medal for cutting and running, less-than-honorable discharges…the list goes on. They could have had a scoop on those, since no other MSM organization wanted to pursue them either.

But for some reason their “myopic zeal” was confined to only one candidate, just weeks before the election. To think that there was no political bias here would be laughable if it weren’t so tragic.

Glenn Wilson, RIP

Glenn Wilson has succombed to diabetes at the age of eighty two. He had a long and distinguished career in space and space policy, but I don’t think that he ever realized the potential for the new space age, and remained too firmly mired in the old one for the space activist organization that he led to be effective in achieving its stated goals.

During his tenure (and mostly since) at the National Space Society, the group always tended to be too much of a NASA cheerleader, unable to conceive of any other way to get us into space, or offering a realistic roadmap of how supporting NASA’s goals du jour would have any hope of getting us there. Nonetheless, he was a good man, as far as I know, with good motives, and I offer my condolences to his family and friends.

Biting Commentary about Infinity…and Beyond!