…proving she’s not a nutcase, to Congressman Kingston:

I am not a nutcase and I am not an unpatriotic war criminal like you and others who still support the most failed presidency in the history of our country …

See, right there, she says so herself!

You couldn’t make this stuff up.

…proving she’s not a nutcase, to Congressman Kingston:

I am not a nutcase and I am not an unpatriotic war criminal like you and others who still support the most failed presidency in the history of our country …

See, right there, she says so herself!

You couldn’t make this stuff up.

…proving she’s not a nutcase, to Congressman Kingston:

I am not a nutcase and I am not an unpatriotic war criminal like you and others who still support the most failed presidency in the history of our country …

See, right there, she says so herself!

You couldn’t make this stuff up.

Democratic leadership:

HARRY: …the first phase of our multi-faceted plan focuses on the number one key to restoring national security: getting Osama bin Laden. Even as we speak, this dangerous fugitive is still on the loose. As the leader of a Democratic majority in Congress, I will make sure that the head Army and Navy generals get a clear and unambiguous message: “Get Osama” is “Job One.”

NANCY: But it is important to do smart too!

HARRY: That’s right, Nancy. That’s why our tough, no-nonsense emails to the generals will include pictures of Osama bin Laden, so they will know who to get.

NANCY: But whats about disguises?

HARRY: Way ahead of you Nancy! Using state-of-the-art PhotoShop smart computers, we will create simulated pictures of Osama bin Laden wearing a mustache, soul patch, trucker hat, and so on, and these will also be included in our emails. Then, the generals will distribute the pictures to the soldiers, and they can then make a surprise attack at Pakistan and get Osama bin Laden, no matter his latest look. Imagine the looks on the terrorists’ faces!

I can’t wait until November, so I can vote for these people. They sound smart! And tough!

Democratic leadership:

HARRY: …the first phase of our multi-faceted plan focuses on the number one key to restoring national security: getting Osama bin Laden. Even as we speak, this dangerous fugitive is still on the loose. As the leader of a Democratic majority in Congress, I will make sure that the head Army and Navy generals get a clear and unambiguous message: “Get Osama” is “Job One.”

NANCY: But it is important to do smart too!

HARRY: That’s right, Nancy. That’s why our tough, no-nonsense emails to the generals will include pictures of Osama bin Laden, so they will know who to get.

NANCY: But whats about disguises?

HARRY: Way ahead of you Nancy! Using state-of-the-art PhotoShop smart computers, we will create simulated pictures of Osama bin Laden wearing a mustache, soul patch, trucker hat, and so on, and these will also be included in our emails. Then, the generals will distribute the pictures to the soldiers, and they can then make a surprise attack at Pakistan and get Osama bin Laden, no matter his latest look. Imagine the looks on the terrorists’ faces!

I can’t wait until November, so I can vote for these people. They sound smart! And tough!

Democratic leadership:

HARRY: …the first phase of our multi-faceted plan focuses on the number one key to restoring national security: getting Osama bin Laden. Even as we speak, this dangerous fugitive is still on the loose. As the leader of a Democratic majority in Congress, I will make sure that the head Army and Navy generals get a clear and unambiguous message: “Get Osama” is “Job One.”

NANCY: But it is important to do smart too!

HARRY: That’s right, Nancy. That’s why our tough, no-nonsense emails to the generals will include pictures of Osama bin Laden, so they will know who to get.

NANCY: But whats about disguises?

HARRY: Way ahead of you Nancy! Using state-of-the-art PhotoShop smart computers, we will create simulated pictures of Osama bin Laden wearing a mustache, soul patch, trucker hat, and so on, and these will also be included in our emails. Then, the generals will distribute the pictures to the soldiers, and they can then make a surprise attack at Pakistan and get Osama bin Laden, no matter his latest look. Imagine the looks on the terrorists’ faces!

I can’t wait until November, so I can vote for these people. They sound smart! And tough!

A Japanese burglar picked the wrong place to burgle:

The burglar, who was unemployed, admitted he was baffled to find himself among sumo wrestlers.

“First I was caught by a massive man. When the lights turned on, I was surrounded by more than a dozen sumo wrestlers. I was surprised,” Kawabata told police, as quoted by Jiji Press.

I’ll bet he was.

This reminds me of the scene in “Tremors,” when the sandworms break into the survivalists’ basement, whereupon it’s blasted by every weapon know to man that’s not belt fed, and the Michael Gross character says “Guess you broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn’t ya!”

I’ve been hearing about this card for years, but this is the first time I’ve ever actually seen one.

So I will, too. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Geoffrey Chaucer’s blog. The guy’s a comedy genius, if you’re into Middle English.

Now here is one dumb cluck:

“Who gave you permission to invade my website and block me and anyone else from accessing it???,” Taylor wrote to CentOS. “Please remove your software immediately before I report it to government officials!! I am the City Manager of Tuttle, Oklahoma.”

Few people would initiate a tech support query like this, but these are dangerous times, and Taylor suspected the worst. (Er, but only the world’s most boring hacker would break into a site and then throw up a boilerplate about how to fix the hack.)

[Update a few minutes later]

And here’s an amusing follow up:

Taylor declined to respond to this reporter’s request for comment but did write to a member of El Reg’s marketing team.

I do not follow instructions that show up when a website that I am not familiar with appears on my computer and I do not think anyone with experience would do so either. Once the Centos site appeared on four computers at one site I contacted our web service provider. The web service provider did not know what could cause the problem and had never heard of “CentOS”. I then contacted the internet provider’s local office and was told that they did nothing to cause the problem. I checked the building’s server and found nothing relating to CentOS on the server. I was then left with only the web page email address to contact. I asked for the strange website to be removed because it blocked my City web site and I could not post public information. I only got help after threatening to contact the FBI.

Now I am being flooded with emails from CentOS users that after knowing the answer say the problem was simple. I think this is unjustified and would like for this to stop. Your website should provide useful information and be a credit to the IT world. I do not believe it should be used to incite the users. Your attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.

Welcome to the internet, moron.