Category Archives: Humor
Sometimes It’s Just Too Simple
Scientists discover possible cause of the current heat wave:
“Our measurements indicate the massive amount of energy this thing gives off is able to travel 93 million miles and reach our planet is as little as eight and a half minutes,” said Professor Mitch Kivens, an astronomer at the California Institute of Technology. “While we can’t see them, we’re fairly certain these infrared rays strike Earth’s surface, become trapped by the atmosphere, and just heat everything up like a great big oven.”
“We originally thought that if this star was producing temperatures of 100-plus in the South and Midwest, it must be at least 100 degrees itself,” Kivens added. “But it turns out it’s far, far hotter than that, with a surface temperature of nearly 10,900 degrees Fahrenheit.”
Kivens and his CalTech colleagues said this intense radiation, which results from constant nuclear reactions converting hydrogen to helium in the star’s core, could also account for why the orb in the sky is extremely bright and difficult to stare at directly.
Remember, correlation is not causation.
Feel My Printer Fury
Everyone involved in the printer industry needs to be marched to the lip of a volcano and poked hard with tridents.
I feel his pain. I haven’t used my HP in weeks, which will neither print black and white, or scan, because it wants a new color cartridge.
Our Space Journalism Award
As some of you may have heard, I was presented with an award for New Space Journalism on Saturday night. As I said when I accepted it, I thought that it was a grave injustice, so I let the teddy bears, or dogs, or whatever they are accept it instead. The thing that I like about these guys is that they are brutally honest, whether when discussing venal politicians in space districts or space-journalism poseurs. It can sometimes be a problem, though, as you’ll see.
I have to admit, it was a little embarrassing. Don’t kids just say the darndest things?
I’m still looking for all the women I supposedly get. And if any rocket scientists out there can recommend a materials-compatible lubricant for the suggested procedure, I’d appreciate it.
[Update a few minutes later]
For those people worried that she really won’t do any more videos, don’t sweat it. Sometimes the talent can be temperamental, but I’ll calm her down. I’m thinking I’ll buy her a cute little poodle skirt and a pair of pom poms, so she can cheer for SLS. She’ll love it.
Rah.
The Consequences Of Default
…are too horrifying to contemplate, but Iowahawk contemplates them anyway. Avert thine eyes.
A Brief Spelling Lesson
S3x May Be Like That, Too
And now for something completely different — babies tasting a lemon for the first time.
For some reason, this reminds me of Jack Benny’s crack that no one knew what a cramp looked like until Fred Allen was born.
Watch Your Blood Pressure
American phrases that make Brits crazy:
46. I hear more and more people pronouncing the letter Z as “zee”. Not happy about it! Ross, London
Gee, they’re starting to act like the French. Two people separated by a common language.
[Via Geek Press]
Completely Useless
…signs.
[Update a few minutes later]
Someone had too much time on their hands: the physics of Superman.
Down With The Tau Deniers
The Derb reports on a serious controversy in the world of mathematics.