Category Archives: Media Criticism

Crime Scene Investigation

Tucson:

Cue opening credit sequence

THE WHO
BRAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!

Fast-paced action montage of CSI team shaking test tubes, spellchecking, studying tea bags under microscope, arresting cactus

THE WHO
We won’t get fooled again!

CSI Headquarters. Behind a two-way mirror, Krugman and Matthews watch as the suspect is interrogated by detectives Olbermann and Maddow.

OLBERMANN
Out with it, scumbag! Who are you working with? We know you’re hiding something – or somebody! At long last, have you no shame, sir?! Have you no decency?

DREAMBRAIN
Riddle me this, Batman. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? That’s for me to know, but what am I? Ha hah! Heee! Ho hee! Pbblltth!

Olbermann jumps up angrily from chair, Maddow restrains him.

MADDOW
Look, pal. Olbermann here, he goes just a little crazy kookoo sometimes. You should see him when he goes full Special Commentary. But you can trust me. I’m your friend. I’ll take care of you, see? Here, have a nice hot cup of tea…

Dreambrain knocks the tea from the table

DREAMBRAIN
You’re trying to control my grammar! I have a constitutional right to saxophones!

MATTHEWS (on intercom)
Take five, detectives. His rightwing gibberish isn’t getting us anywhere.

KRUGMAN
Have the results gotten back from the toxicology lab yet?

MATTHEWS
Got ’em right here. Weed… acid… psilocybin… salvia… Red Bull… but so far a negative on tea. And transfats.

I don’t think it has as much potential as the other franchises.

In Search Of A Conservative Space Policy

With the quarter-century anniversary of the Challenger loss coming up next week, my thoughts on where we’ve been, and where we go from here. Even though I’m not really a conservative, I hope that the essay will make sense to them. Because unlike many, I at least speak the language, particularly when properly edited.

[Tuesday morning update]

I would note that there are two companion pieces to this, by Jeff Foust and Bob Zubrin.