It’s almost Halloween, and Iowahawk is celebrating with a repeat of that scary horror classic, The Blog. Here a trailer:

“I’ll teach that thing to target journalists! This is Jordan Eason, signing off!” The television reporter suddenly dropped his microphone and hurtled down the street screaming, headlong into the Blog, which was now over 20 feet tall.

“No… Jordan, you suicidal fool, you can’t stop it!” cried Professor Von Kleinstein, but it was too late… the reporter was quickly swept up into the pulsating plasmoid mass. Suddenly, instinctively, it began heading for the Eastvale movie theater…

…”It’s got to have some sort of central nervous system,” said Biff. “Jeepers, if we could just find its brain, maybe we could kill it.”

“That’s just it, Biff — it doesn’t seem to have any head whatsoever! It seems to be some sort of pure unedited energy, and any attack only seems to make it stronger!”

March 3rd, 1945

IWO JIMA (Routers) Controversy has erupted among the press corps in the last few days as news has spread that the now-famous picture of the “victorious” flag raising over Iwo Jima a couple weeks ago was staged. Many believe that, as the huge number of casualties mounted in the ill-fated and pointless invasion of this tiny island, the Roosevelt administration, desperate for a bit of pro-war propaganda, arranged to have the photo taken for dissemination to the world’s news services.

It has been revealed that the picture was actually of a “recreation” of an earlier flag raising of a much smaller flag, though even that event has now been cast into doubt by the apparent attempt to mislead the press.

There is abundant evidence that the picture was not only unspontaneous, but orchestrated on orders from higher ups.

“None of the men in the picture actually carried the flag to the top,” one reporter noted. “It was brought up by a lieutenant in charge, probably at White House orders.” In addition, none of the men in the picture had even been injured in the fighting to that point.

The latest propaganda ploy from the administration comes in the midst of doubts about the war strategy, with many thinking this latest bloody adventure particularly misguided. Several thousand Marines have died already in the invasion, and many more have been injured, many losing limbs. Moreover, despite the “victory” implied by the “flag raising,” the brave Japanese continue to resist in caves dug deep into the volcanic rock of the doughty little island, with continuing “Allied” casualties. One Republican staffer on the Hill declared that it was Roosevelt’s attempt to prematurely declare “major combat operations over,” when it was clear that the Japanese were going to continue to fight on to the last man.

Beyond the distaste at what now seems an obvious public-relations ploy, some military strategists argue that the Iwo Jima invasion wasn’t worth the cost in resources and blood, or even necessary at all, since the only reason the island is desired is as an auxiliary air base for emergency landings of “Allied” bombers attacking the Japanese homeland.

Some of the anti-war groups are particularly outraged. “We’ve killed tens of thousands of Japanese soldiers, and several thousand of our own, just so we can save the lives of a few American air crews while they kill hundreds of thousands of helpless Japanese civilians,” read a press release from one of the more prominent groups. It continued, “Now we find the Roosevelt administration attempting to cover up its criminal actions by staging events meant to hide the fact that we’re losing this cruel war, with massive casualties on all sides.”

The White House, of course, attempts to defend its actions. A spokesman points out that no claims have been made that fighting was over, and that the photo was a depiction of a real event that had occurred shortly before, but not been captured by the cameras. He also noted that Mount Suribachi was in fact taken that day, and had not been relinquished since.

This does not satisfy critics in the press or the anti-war movement, however.

“It’s important to demonstrate the perfidy and mendacity of this administration now,” said one leading spokesman, “before it becomes fixed in the mind of the public as an American ‘victory,’ or something to be admired and emulated in the future. If we don’t set the record straight now, who knows how history will record it? For all we know, they’ll decide to put up a bronze statue in Arlington to commemorate it, or something.”

August 2, 1943

HOUSTON (Routers) In this hurricane-ravaged city, a large number of Houstonians are now questioning the misplaced priorities of the Roosevelt administration, an administration that many increasingly see as valuing war mongering over the actual safety of the American people.

Last Tuesday’s storm, which killed almost two dozen people and injured dozens more, with property damage in the millions of dollars, was the worst to strike the area since 1915, when hundreds were killed in Galveston.

“This hurricane completely blindsided us,” said one resident. “The first we heard about it before it hit was when one measly airplane flew out over Galveston Bay to see how big the storm was.”

Many find it shocking to consider how much more warning these stalwart southeast Texans could have had, had the hundreds of B-17 bombers sent to England in order to attack Germany, that had never been a direct threat to us, been instead pressed into service closer to home to look for storms in the Gulf of Mexico.

In addition, supposedly as a result of “threats” from German U-boats, ships were under orders of radio silence from the administration, further preventing warning of the storm from reaching the unaware Houston-area residents.

Another consequence of the administration’s focus on the war could be seen at Ellington Field. Many Army Air Corps personnel were diverted to the task of physically holding down warplanes to keep them from blowing away, instead of being freed up to help maintain order in the wake of the disaster.

Many think that this is a sign of prejudice on the part of a haughty, patrician president from the northeast.

“It’s very clear that Franklin “Delanodamngood” Roosevelt doesn’t give a damn about ordinary folk down here in Texas,” said one local man. “It’s been almost a week now since the storm, many of us don’t have water, and he hasn’t even come down here to see how we’re doing. All he can think about is his pointless war.”

(Copyright 2005 by Rand Simberg)

March 12, 1944

WARM SPRINGS (Routers) A Minnesota woman whose son was killed in the recent Anzio offensive has demanded a private audience with President Roosevelt, and has taken up residence outside his Georgia retreat until she gets one.

Mrs. Etta Mae Hanberg, of Fergus Falls, had a son, Lawrence, who died after stepping on a land mine near the Italian village of Aprilia on January 25th. Overcome with grief, she now questions the war, and laments the apparent purposelessness of her son’s sacrifice. She has set up camp outside the president’s vacation retreat here, and refuses to leave until the president agrees to meet with her. Her plight has attracted many who are equally unhappy with the war, and they’ve established a tent city nearby.

Following a rousing speech to the assembled by Father Coughlin, in his first public appearance in many months, she was interviewed.

“I just want answers,” she says, in her soft-spoken, upper Midwest manner. “Why are our helpless babies dying in Italy when it was Japan that attacked us? And I think that the president knew that the Japanese were going to attack, but let it happen so he could get rich off this war in Europe.”

She is just warming up.

“The president says that Germany declared war on us, but I haven’t seen any declaration of war, and I don’t believe that there are any Germans in Italy. And even if there were any Germans there, who can blame them, with all of our support for Britain? If it weren’t for that nasty little island, always interfering with the rights of German lebensraum and Vichy self determination, and their desire to get rid of all those Jews that are occupying their land and stealing all their money, there wouldn’t be any trouble in Europe. And the way we treat our war prisoners is just a disgrace.”

“I don’t blame whoever planted that land mine. This president is the murderer of my son. With all due respect to the office, I think that this is all just an imperialist grab for olive oil to benefit him and the rest of his crooked business cronies. I think that Franklin Delanodamngood Roosevelt and everyone in his corrupt and bloodthirsty administration ought to be impeached, all the way down to his little dog Fala.”

Sympathetic demonstrators who have gathered from all around to support her cheer at the words, with shouts of “Roosevelt lied, Larry died!” and “No blood for pesto!”

When it was pointed out that she was just one mother of many, and asked how the president could possibly meet with all of the mothers of the hundreds of thousands of American men killed in this war to date, she replied, “My child died. I’ll never see him again. I have absolute moral authority here. And anyway, it’s not hundreds of thousands. I think that there have been hundreds of millions of our children killed and that this lying administration is just covering it all up.”

Roosevelt administration officials have pointed out that the president regrets the loss of Mrs. Hanberg’s son, as he does the losses of all of the families of casualties of this war, but that he can’t meet with just one mother without slighting the thousands of others who are in similar pain. But this, appropriately, doesn’t assuage the grief-stricken woman.

“I have a right to see the president,” she responded. “Are they trying to silence me? Are you? I have a right to be heard. I have a right to have my words broadcast across this nation, and printed in every newspaper. I have a right to this press attention. Why are you trying to deny me my rights?”

(Copyright 2005 by Rand Simberg)

In Crawford.

[Update early Wednesday morning]

Thomas James advances Scrappleface’s ball further down the field in comments:

Mother Sheehan’s war is just a distraction from the Global Whinge on Bush. The left was arguably justified in going into the Plame/Rove scandal (remember that?) after the catastrophic 11/2 attacks which damaged Ohio’s electoral system and brought down the Twin Johns. But since then, they have squandered the unprecedented and heartfelt outpouring of support they once received from George Soros. The left went into this war on the basis of fraudulent estimates of Mother Sheehan’s capabilities as a weapon of mass media destruction, an “imminent threat” which has since been proved bogus, and their appalling conduct in this “illegal” ditch-occupation is serving as a recruitment tool for anti-idiotarian insurgents.

In Crawford.

[Update early Wednesday morning]

Thomas James advances Scrappleface’s ball further down the field in comments:

Mother Sheehan’s war is just a distraction from the Global Whinge on Bush. The left was arguably justified in going into the Plame/Rove scandal (remember that?) after the catastrophic 11/2 attacks which damaged Ohio’s electoral system and brought down the Twin Johns. But since then, they have squandered the unprecedented and heartfelt outpouring of support they once received from George Soros. The left went into this war on the basis of fraudulent estimates of Mother Sheehan’s capabilities as a weapon of mass media destruction, an “imminent threat” which has since been proved bogus, and their appalling conduct in this “illegal” ditch-occupation is serving as a recruitment tool for anti-idiotarian insurgents.

In Crawford.

[Update early Wednesday morning]

Thomas James advances Scrappleface’s ball further down the field in comments:

Mother Sheehan’s war is just a distraction from the Global Whinge on Bush. The left was arguably justified in going into the Plame/Rove scandal (remember that?) after the catastrophic 11/2 attacks which damaged Ohio’s electoral system and brought down the Twin Johns. But since then, they have squandered the unprecedented and heartfelt outpouring of support they once received from George Soros. The left went into this war on the basis of fraudulent estimates of Mother Sheehan’s capabilities as a weapon of mass media destruction, an “imminent threat” which has since been proved bogus, and their appalling conduct in this “illegal” ditch-occupation is serving as a recruitment tool for anti-idiotarian insurgents.

Iowahawk has found the liberal-group talking points against ___JOHN ROBERTS___.

September 8, 1940

LONDON (Routers) The new government of Winston Churchill, only in office for a scant few months, came under fire today, after the seemingly senseless destruction of property and lives in the city by German bombers yesterday. Many are blaming the new Prime Minister for the bombings, which they view as a result of his stubborn support of an illegal war against Vichy France, and inappropriately aggressive policies against the misunderstood Germans.

“Under Chamberlain,” said one Labour backbencher, “we had peace for our time.”

“Now,” he went on, “under this new brutal and dictatorial Tory rule, Churchill, along with his poodle Franklin “Delanodamngood” Roosevelt, has brought this wretched war home to Whitehall itself, and ordinary Londoners.”

The bombing began around four o’clock yesterday afternoon, with squadrons of German bombers blackening the skies over London, dropping many thousands of pounds of bombs on the city for two hours. A couple hours later, a second wave of bombings commenced, with the bombers’ navigators guided by the fires from the first attack, with no cessation until early this morning. The fires still burn, and the total casualties have yet to be properly assessed.

It is widely believed that the lamentable attacks have their root cause in the government’s unwillingness to recognize the new P

September 8, 1940

LONDON (Routers) The new government of Winston Churchill, only in office for a scant few months, came under fire today, after the seemingly senseless destruction of property and lives in the city by German bombers yesterday. Many are blaming the new Prime Minister for the bombings, which they view as a result of his stubborn support of an illegal war against Vichy France, and inappropriately aggressive policies against the misunderstood Germans.

“Under Chamberlain,” said one Labour backbencher, “we had peace for our time.”

“Now,” he went on, “under this new brutal and dictatorial Tory rule, Churchill, along with his poodle Franklin “Delanodamngood” Roosevelt, has brought this wretched war home to Whitehall itself, and ordinary Londoners.”

The bombing began around four o’clock yesterday afternoon, with squadrons of German bombers blackening the skies over London, dropping many thousands of pounds of bombs on the city for two hours. A couple hours later, a second wave of bombings commenced, with the bombers’ navigators guided by the fires from the first attack, with no cessation until early this morning. The fires still burn, and the total casualties have yet to be properly assessed.

It is widely believed that the lamentable attacks have their root cause in the government’s unwillingness to recognize the new P