There must have definitely been alcohol involved. A man was arrested in Punxsatawney for attempting to resuscitate a dead possum via mouth to mouth:
Levier says the animal already had been dead a while.
Break out the tic tacs. Maybe he thought it was Phil the Groundhog.
Though, actually the arrest was for public drunkenness. There’s apparently no statute in Pennsylvania concerning the osculation of deceased marsupials.
Just dogs, over Afghanistan. I’d have like to have been at the meeting where this was first suggested.
And, let’s hope, never goes again:
[Via Phil Bowermaster]
Fifty ships are frozen in the Baltic ice.
So why would I pay American Airlines a mere hundred thirty bucks to fly non-stop from LA to Denver when I could pay almost five hundred to do it through Miami?
Space Nazis versus Space Nazis. The real reason that Obama killed the human space program
I hate Space Nazis. Especially Illinois Space Nazis.
An atheist adoption service for pets abandoned by their raptured owners:
Whatever motivates Centre, he has tapped into a source of genuine unease. Todd Strandberg, who founded a biblical prophecy Web site called raptureready.com that draws 250,000 unique visitors a month, agrees that Fido and Mittens are doomed. “Pets don’t have souls, so they’ll remain on Earth. I don’t see how they can be taken with you,” he says. “A lot of persons are concerned about their pets, but I don’t know if they should necessarily trust atheists to take care of them.”
This paradox poses a challenge for Centre. He must reassure the Rapture crowd that his pet rescuers are wicked enough to be left behind but good enough to take proper care of the abandoned pets. Rescuers must sign an affidavit to affirm their disbelief in God—and they must also clear a criminal background check. “We want people who have pets and are animal lovers,” Centre says. They also must have the means to rescue and transport the animals in their charge. His network consists of 26 rescuers covering 22 states. “They take this very seriously,” Centre says.
It’s a serious issue, previously unaddressed. Isn’t America great? I should sign up as a rescuer.
Terrorist aren’t going to be allowed to use iTunes.
As the first commenter says, it does seem like perfectly justifiable homicide. On the other hand, as another commenter notes, it’s not like it’s “Feelings.” Whoa, whoa, whoa…
“The Hitler you loved. The Hitler with an Irish song in his heart.”
Extra points for people who get the reference of the quote.