If you type in “HALP US BRAK WE R STUK IN SMALL TOWN,” it will respond: “Did you mean: HALP US BREAK WE R STUCK IN SMALL TOWN?”
Category Archives: Weird
Are You Happy To See Me?
…or is that just a snake in your pants?
The video is a little difficult to see, but shop owner Rick Preuss say it’s clear she’s reaching into the cage and stuffing the snake down her pants. He says the woman had been in the store for some time, staking out the cage.
“In some ways, I wish it were this really big snake going down her pants [so you could see it better]. Instead what you see is a quick view from the camera” of the snake pattern, he says.
Well, if he were still around, Freud would say that she has trouser-snake envy.
True Love
Was it consensual? Here’s a story about a man who enjoyed conjugal relations with a picnic table.
Hope he used a c0nd0m. Those splinters can be rough.
[Update a minutes or so later]
Upon more careful reading, I guess he’ll be OK. It’s metal.
But still, you don’t know who else that picnic table has been with.
Idiotic Phishing Attempt
I just got an email from the “IRS” with the below content:
We are pleased to inform you that upon reviewing your
fiscal activity, we have determined that you are eligible to
receive a tax refund of $439,54.To access the online form for your tax refund, please click here
Your Individual Taxpayer Identification Number: 217 53 3569
Needless to say, that’s not my social. I didn’t go to the site, but I assume that they ask you to verify the SSN, so they can harvest it. But what kind of moron would be fooled by a letter that doesn’t even seem to understand the proper format for numbering in the English language?
News You Can Use
And just in time for Easter, too. Crucifixion is bad for your health.
I Hate When That Happens
This is really a horrible story, but it’s also hard not to laugh at it, and be a human:
A German retiree is taking a hospital to court after she went in for a leg operation and got a new @nus instead, the Daily Telegraph is reporting.
Talk about tearing someone a new one. Ah, the jokes just write themselves.
It’s also a lesson that you really need to have an advocate when you go to the hospital, though it’s not clear if it would have helped in this case.
[Afternoon update]
And they’re off:
“When she’s done, she’ll have money coming out of the ‘wazoo.'”
“Sort of reminds me of what is going to happen in the USA next January 20.”
Only “Suspended”?
Why isn’t this guy doing hard time?
Michael Sheridan was stripped of his title as class vice president, barred from attending an honors student dinner and suspended for a day after buying a bag of Skittles from a classmate.
What is the world coming to when people can openly buy and sell candy on a school campus?
I guess his big mistake was paying money for it (you know, like prostitution?):
The policy also prohibits bake sales and other food sales during school hours. The policy does not say anything about students sharing snacks when no money is exchanged.
So, if he’d given it away, things would have been OK. But I have no sympathy. The only way to clean this up is to go after the johns.
You know, I think that someone should write a book
[Friday update]
Saved by Mark Levin:
Levin gave out the phone number of the spokesperson for the New Haven school district, but asked his listeners to be civilized about the calling. The civilized part was easy. Getting through was another matter. Within ten minutes of the number’s being given out, the New Haven school district’s phone system crashed, as did its website.
Within an hour of that, the wheels were already in motion to clear Sheridan’s name and restore his and the other student’s good standing.
What kind of conservative is he, anyway, coddling criminals like that?
Only “Suspended”?
Why isn’t this guy doing hard time?
Michael Sheridan was stripped of his title as class vice president, barred from attending an honors student dinner and suspended for a day after buying a bag of Skittles from a classmate.
What is the world coming to when people can openly buy and sell candy on a school campus?
I guess his big mistake was paying money for it (you know, like prostitution?):
The policy also prohibits bake sales and other food sales during school hours. The policy does not say anything about students sharing snacks when no money is exchanged.
So, if he’d given it away, things would have been OK. But I have no sympathy. The only way to clean this up is to go after the johns.
You know, I think that someone should write a book
[Friday update]
Saved by Mark Levin:
Levin gave out the phone number of the spokesperson for the New Haven school district, but asked his listeners to be civilized about the calling. The civilized part was easy. Getting through was another matter. Within ten minutes of the number’s being given out, the New Haven school district’s phone system crashed, as did its website.
Within an hour of that, the wheels were already in motion to clear Sheridan’s name and restore his and the other student’s good standing.
What kind of conservative is he, anyway, coddling criminals like that?
Only “Suspended”?
Why isn’t this guy doing hard time?
Michael Sheridan was stripped of his title as class vice president, barred from attending an honors student dinner and suspended for a day after buying a bag of Skittles from a classmate.
What is the world coming to when people can openly buy and sell candy on a school campus?
I guess his big mistake was paying money for it (you know, like prostitution?):
The policy also prohibits bake sales and other food sales during school hours. The policy does not say anything about students sharing snacks when no money is exchanged.
So, if he’d given it away, things would have been OK. But I have no sympathy. The only way to clean this up is to go after the johns.
You know, I think that someone should write a book
[Friday update]
Saved by Mark Levin:
Levin gave out the phone number of the spokesperson for the New Haven school district, but asked his listeners to be civilized about the calling. The civilized part was easy. Getting through was another matter. Within ten minutes of the number’s being given out, the New Haven school district’s phone system crashed, as did its website.
Within an hour of that, the wheels were already in motion to clear Sheridan’s name and restore his and the other student’s good standing.
What kind of conservative is he, anyway, coddling criminals like that?
So Many Questions
How and why does a woman sit on a toilet for two years? How does her “boyfriend” take two years to notice that there’s a problem? There’s obviously a lot more to this story–what’s reported here is merely a tease.
[Late evening update]
As usual, Mark Steyn has the last word:
Whipple said investigators planned to present their report Wednesday to the county attorney, who will determine whether any charges should be filed against the woman’s 36-year-old boyfriend.
The boyfriend? What about the bathroom? It’s like when Spitzer broke up NY prostitution rings: They never go after the john.
Is a groan really necessary?