CA Humor

Received via email:

A guy was traveling through Mexico on vacation when, lo and behold, he lost his wallet and all identification.

Cutting his trip short, he attempts to make his way home but is stopped by the Customs Agent at the Tijuana border.

“May I see your identification, please?” asks the agent.

I’m sorry, but I lost my wallet,” replies the guy.

“Sure, buddy, I hear that every day. No ID, no crossing the border,” says the agent.

“But I can prove that I’m an American!” he exclaims.

“I have a picture of Bill Clinton tattooed on one butt cheek and a picture of George Bush on the other.”

“This I gotta see,” replies the agent.

With that, Joe drops his pants and bends over in front of the agent.

“By golly, you’re right!” exclaims the agent. “Go on home to California.”

“Thanks!” he says. “But how did you know I was from California?”

The agent replies, “I recognized the picture of Gray Davis in the middle.”

Millionaires Queuing Up For A Ride To Space

The competition to ride into space, as well as to provide rides, is heating up. According the linked article, Space Adventures had a little soire in London to show off potential services to well-heeled clients, and it does indeed look as though (assuming that NASA gets the Shuttle flying again), there will be a purely commercial space tourism mission coming up. And also according to the article, Richard Branson would like to lose his space Virginity.

There’s also a continued shift in perception underway:

…not everyone with an interest in British space exploration was excited about the prospect of the UK’s first space tourist. Professor Colin Pillinger, the Open University scientist leading the Beagle 2 project to Mars, was among them.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” said Professor Pillinger. “I doubt very much whether Nasa will let people just drop into the International Space Station for a cup of tea.

This kind of snooty dismissal is not atypical of responses from space science types. But what’s different is the next quote from him, which shows that at last, he and his colleagues may be starting to get it. I should also note that he doesn’t know what he’s talking about, because in fact NASA has done just that, twice.

“The only possible benefit I can see from all this is that if more people are going into space, rockets will become cheaper for the rest of us.”

Exactly. That’s the point.

And that should be benefit enough for you, if not for those of us who want to go, so maybe you’ll at least stop poo-pooing it?

The Quagmire Of The Media

Brit Hume has a fairly comprehensive critique of the media performance in the past couple wars.

I suppose that reading these quotes now is a little unfair, like shooting fish in a barrel. But I do so to illustrate the point that the majority of the American media who were in a position to comment upon the progress of the war in the early going, and even after that, got it wrong. They didn?t get it just a little wrong. They got it completely wrong…

…This level of imperviousness to reality is remarkable. It is consistent and it continues over time.

I think about this phenomenon a lot. I worry and wonder about the fact that so many people can get things so wrong, so badly, so often, so consistently and so repeatedly. And I think that there are ideas lurking under the surface that help to explain why this happens. In brief, when it comes to the exercise of American power in the world, particularly military power, there seems to be a suspicion among those in the media ? indeed, a suspicion bordering on a presumption ? of illegitimacy, incompetence and ineffectiveness.

Which of course begs the question–why should we think they’re getting it right now?

Loser?

I should mention that I attended the LA Press Club party last night. It was down by the Convention Center, at the Hotel Figueroa on…Figueroa. What a shocker.

Next to the Convention Center.

It’s deceptive. It looks a little seedy from the outside, and the neighborhood is less than great, but inside it’s a classic LA hotel from, I’d guess, the twenties, in a Moroccan theme. It was a little weird to go into an Arab-themed hotel, given current events, but what are you gonna do?

Anyway, I don’t have a lot more to relate, nor do I need to, because Luke Ford has a great description of the event.

Unfortunately, Luke being stuck in the twentieth century with Dreamweaver, he still has no permalinks (though he did threaten to eventually get Moveable Type at some point). So those of you reading this from the twenty-third century, just scroll down to June 25th, 2003 (you may have to convert to star dates…).

I was a little concerned about one thing in his writeup, however.

Calm on the surface, these parties are savage affairs where the cool people flee the losers all night and seek refuge with their own kind.

You could argue that all parties where there are cool and successful and attractive people as well as losers (physically, socially, monetarily, emotionally) are savage. True. But there’s an extra degree of savageness to LAPC events because the LAPC is such a big tent. Almost anyone can join and attend the parties. Therefore, you get lots more losers at LAPC events than at exclusive parties where losers are kept out.

I like to spend my time talking to winners like Mickey Kaus, Cathy Seipp, and Denise Hamilton. Most of the group wants to talk to winners and to avoid the losers who clutch and bore and suck the life out of you.

Now, I like to think of myself as a good person. Therefore, I am willing to spend up to a third of my time talking to losers (I even go out of my way to talk to people who are alone and sad), but I must admit I grow testy after a few minutes and yearn to get away to talk to people better than me (some of whom look at me as a loser).

[VOICE=”Homer Simpson”]

Hahahaha…HAAAHAHAHAHA…

It’s funny because it’s true…

[/VOICE]

But then, I got to this:

I spend much of the evening chatting with Foxnews columnist Rand Simberg.

I have to wonder. Was I a loser on whom he was taking pity, or a winner to whom he was sucking up? I’m not sure my fragile ego will survive the answer. But, he did whip out his tape recorder on me once or twice, so I must have said something worth preserving, if only to mock later.

He tried to convert me to Orthodox Judaism, or at least ethical monotheism. I wasn’t buying. At least not last night. I’ll stick with ethical naturalism for now.

I also told Mickey Kaus, as potential fodder for a future Gearbox column, about my visceral reaction to a test drive of the Mercedes C series. You’ll have to remind me to blog on that sometime…

[Update at 7:54 PM PDT]

I should add that I talked for a little while to Luke Thompson, who utterly misunderstood me and thought that I was interested in astronomy. I’m not, any more than in any other natural science. I’m a space policy guy, trying to figure out how to get you (and me) up there. Stars are not that fascinating to me, frankly.

And actually, I didn’t need rescuing from Luke Ford–I like debating religion and teleology, as long as my debater does as well.

I also realize I really should expand on the description of entering the hotel.

As I said, it was Moroccan themed. The younger among you may not quite appreciate this. Go rent Casa Blanca, watch it, and then come back.

It’s OK, go ahead. I’ll wait, and still be here when you get back.

OK? Back already? Hope you enjoyed it, and didn’t fast forward through some of the slower parts, just to get back to my blog.

OK, I lie.

Anyway, now cast your mind back to, say…1942. Imagine walking into a hotel to attend a social event. You walk down a long darkened hallway, laden with beer steins, and imperial eagles, and the overture to Lohengrin is playing in the background. The bellhops are wearing lederhosen.

The gift shop is selling custom-made lampshades…

OK, that last was a little over the top.

It wasn’t that bad, but it was, as I said, a little weird. I hope all eventually goes well and that, in time, I’ll be able to drive a high-performance Arabian auto, just as today I drive a Honda and a BMW (I really do…).

Anyway, once I got to the party, everything went well, particularly since the only hors d’oeuvres that seemed to be middle eastern (besides an obligatory bowl of hummous and pita) was a filo-cheese thing. Everything else (aside from some microquiches and strange asian what-nots with dipping sauce), this being LA, was a variation on a corn-meal bread with spiced vague-meat filling, usually fried (i.e., Calimexican).

Thus, in a devastating attack on my digestive system, was I put at emotional ease.

I should also add that I owe Emmanuelle at least one drink, because she not only procured one for me gratis, but had it personally delivered via the lovely Tiffany Stone. Next time, mon cher.

[OK, one more update]

Luke posts some details of our conversation, though (I don’t know whether this is a good or a bad thing) his tape recorder didn’t seem to capture it. Because in the intervening few hours since his last post, Luke still hasn’t installed MT, you’ll have to scroll down almost as far, but not quite (though different orders of infinity are still infinity, aren’t they?)

Rand Simberg writes a blog largely about space. He dreams about space. He longs for space. Space is Rand’s substitute religion.

He’s right, though I don’t think that it requires any adjectives.

Here are my recollections of our discussion:

Luke: “Why don’t you believe in God?”

Randy: “I see no rational basis for doing so.”

Luke: “What created the universe?”

Rand: “I don’t know.”

Luke: “I believe I have an answer – God. Yet you think that having no idea of what created the universe is more rational than positing God. I believe that intelligence created intelligence.”

Rand talks about his belief in the transcendent but when I pin him down, he has no belief in anything beyond the material. His transcendance, like his ethics, like the meaning he sees in his life, is all made up. His meanings and ethics are the equivalent of characters in a novel. Yet Rand and Amy Alkon and Toby Young believe this made-up approach is so much more rational than following an objective transcendent moral code, proved to work over millenia, rooted in an eternal Creator who has an interest in how his creation treats each other. I’m sure Rand’s Moral Code has just as much wisdom as the works of 3000 years of Jewish tradition.

He gets it almost right, according to my own recollection. Interestingly, the part that doesn’t quite jibe is his last response. If he’d really said that, mine would have been “…and what created the intelligence that created the intelligence? Is it turtles all the way down?”

My problem with accepting the moral code of the Jewish tradition is the same as my accepting the moral code of any other tradition–the fact that there are many traditions. How am I to choose? They can’t all be right, and some of them seem to get by without a God (that doesn’t beg the question of a progenitor Himself).

I also have to wonder at the oxymoronic phrase “objective transcendant” moral code.

If Luke can explain to me why he would have been an Orthodox Jew himself without being being born into the Jewish faith (in a manner other than Dr. Laura, who did it after marrying a Jew)–that is, he chose his religion after going to the religion mall, and putting together a matrix of pluses and minuses of all the alternatives, and doing an analysis, and deciding on some rational basis which was the True Faith (since he seems so big on rationality), then I might be interested, but otherwise, as I said, no sale.

Biting Commentary about Infinity…and Beyond!