Well, if not his oyster, at least his dippy dot:
“It seems the legends of 21st-century man’s crude ice cream-eating habits are all true,” Wolcott said. “I see the way you consume these dripping concoctions with protruding tongues, the way the dark cream dribbles down your chins, the way your workers must dig tirelessly with spherical metal ‘scooping’ devices to even obtain this product.”
“Barbarians!” Wolcott added. “Dippin’ Dots can be poured effortlessly into cups. They do not melt or make a mess, and plus they are very fun to eat.”
Now, it would seem to me that this is a man after Leon Kass’ heart. Not to mention, ironically, that it gives this enemy of longevity a reason to live, and see such a marvelous future, in which he will no longer have to suffer the indignity of seeing people licking cones in the street, like so many cats at bath.