Kermit Feels Their Pain

It’s not easy being green:

The unexpected discovery of a nest of red-cheeked squirrels amidst the huge, partially constructed MegaPyre Solar Power plant has halted construction, casting doubt on the viability of what has been considered to be the environmentalist’s crown jewel of renewable power facilities.

The 20 gigawatt plant was expected to provide electricity to much of southern California, and was only 6 months away from completion when the nest of squirrels, which are on the endangered species list, was found. Due to federal regulations regarding endangered species, moving the nest to another location is not permitted.

The situation has confounded local environmentalists, who are now evenly divided on whether the solar power plant or the nest of squirrels is more important to their cause.

Hear that little sound? That’s the sound of the world’s tiniest violin.

[Yes, I know it’s a joke. The twenty gigawatts, if nothing else, is a dead giveaway.]

4 thoughts on “Kermit Feels Their Pain”

  1. Not even that, the idea of any new power plant, even a solar plant, being built in California flags this as an obvious work of fiction.

  2. She noted that one female environmentalist was seriously injured during an altercation over the issue when a male associate tried to choke her by entangling her in a large dream catcher.

    A dream catcher? A klingon warrior does not “catch dreams”. They impale them on sharp, hardened steel.

  3. I will never forget watching a news story while on a business trip in LA. The issue was a grassy median at a highway intersection. The grass hadn’t been cut in a long time.

    The tall grass posed a hazard for motorist who were merging on the freeway, because they couldn’t see traffic early enough to respond. Several accidents had occurred at the location. In addition, the firemen who responded to the accident were concerned that since LA hadn’t received rain in awhile, the median was primed to be a brush fire. So with citizens and the fire department demanding action, how did the transportation department respond?

    The response was that the grass acted as catch for debris from the highway. It wasn’t cut because if it rained afterwards, that debris might get washed away into the gutters, where it would make its way to sea. Of course, that debris would be dangerous for the fish in the sea. So the grass wasn’t cut.

    That was early last spring. A few months later, LA was hit with vicious wild fires that destroyed several homes. I don’t know if that median was ever cut or burned, but I was not surprised to hear how devestating the wild fires were.

  4. This is hilarious and I love this song. Everyone knows that this is a Nine Inch Nails song from Downward Spiral. The Johnny Cash version was from a cover album that he did shortly before passing away.

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