All I Can Say To Kim Kardashian Is…

Well done, fair maiden. Maybe you can start a new fashion look — the raccoon.

I know, I’m being mean, I’m sure she’s miserable. But you know, that’s why I’m smart enough to not lie in the sun. I have experience.

[Update a few minutes later]

OK, I’m awful. But it looks like a Barbie-Que.

11 thoughts on “All I Can Say To Kim Kardashian Is…”

  1. You wear your sunglasses when you are walking during the day, and driving at night, so you can so you can.

    You don’t lay in the sun, looking for a tan, and then wait for a burn cuz you are an idiot who’s only asset is your “good looks.”

    You wear sunglasses when you are a pilot with a leather jacket and a white scarf, or when you are. . .

    Well I think I covered all of the valid reasons to wear sunglasses, other than the obvious penis issues of bisexual men coping with their confused sexual identity before visiting barney franks boyfriends special business.

  2. Looks like she was wearing those fucking stupid bumblebee-eye sunglasses. What do they ‘shade my forehead’. I’ve seen coasters smaller than the platters of plastic they wear now days. {/old fogy mode off}

  3. Hmm. I don’t see any blistering. Perhaps this fetching wench had an idea for a blog post, and what we see is actually makeup? OR vegetable dye.

    Either way, if she needs me to apply any sort of lotion, she needs my wife’s permission first.


  4. OK two ideas here.

    First, who CARES?

    It’s Kim freakin’ Kardashian. She’s famous for… being…famous. BFD. If her father wasn’t her father or her step-father wasn’t her step-father, she’d be just as fake pretty, but at BK, McD’s or on a stripper pole somewhere.

    There are thousands of cute girls, just as endowed, who never get a reality show or a picture in Playboy. She’s half a step away from being a ho’.

    Second, who’s going to notice the raccoon effect?

    When she goes out into public, she’ll have 13 pounds of makeup on her kisser!! After some pro makeup artist gets done, she’ll be just as “fine” as always. But given that, what woman wouldn’t, if you like all that crap on their faces.

  5. Saw her on Dancing with the Stars. She was certainly attractive looking when not moving or talking. Once she tried to dance, she was stiff as a mannequin. It was like she didn’t have elbows or knees. Then she would get interviewed, and I seriously thought someone had drugged her. It was as if she needed a tranquilizer to appear on camera.

    I agree with Steve, if she had to make it on her own, she wouldn’t.

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