A blog about interns in DC:
(Talking about the recent pirate troubles off the coast of Africa)
Intern #1 So do these pirates look like pirates?
Intern #2: What do you mean?
Intern #1: Well, what do they look like?
Intern #2: They’re people with normal clothes . . .and guns.
Intern #1 So they’re not like real pirates?
Intern #2: ?
Intern #1: When I think of pirates I think of Pirates of Caribbean. Do they look like that?
Intern #2: Pirates back then dressed like that because that was the clothes of the day. Pirates today dress in today’s clothes.
Intern #1: Well they should at least still have eye patches.
And then there’s this:
Four interns sit down in my section and order four Bud Lights.
Me: I’m sorry, fellas, we don’t have Bud Light. We have PBR on draft, though.
Intern #1: (sighs) Fine, four of those.
Me: No problem. I just need to see your ID’s.
Intern #2: You don’t need to see our ID’s. We work for Congressman _______ from ________. (Flashes his red badge)
Me: Sorry, dude, but unless the Distinguished Gentleman from _______ is willing to use his oversight authority to make the $10,000 fine that we’d get slapped with for serving you without ID’s go away, and give me a paying job when I get fired anyway, I’m still going to have to see them.
Intern #1: Wow, “oversight authority.” That’s more knowledge than I’d expect from someone with your job.
Me: And that’s about as much ignorance as I’d expect from someone who agreed to lick envelopes for free.
Every customer within earshot starts laughing. The interns pitch a royal fit, call my manager over, and get kicked out anyway. The best part? Not only did I get a $20 bonus from my manager for doing my job right, all of my other customers tipped me at least double.
Thanks for buying me a the new iPhone, boys. Y’all come back anytime.