No Surprise To Me

Women are more attracted to men who are already taken. This matches up with my own experience that wearing a ring can be a chick magnet. It’s unfair, too, because it creates something like a barrier to entry. Errrr….so to speak.

There’s also this other shocking news:

Other researchers say the study provides interesting insights into mate poaching. “It tells us something about the role of social desirability in mate preference,” says Fhionna Moore of the University of Abertay Dundee, UK, whose own research has shown that richer women are more choosy about mates.

Richer women are more choosy about mates? Who would have guessed?

How do I get money for these kinds of studies? I think I’d like to do a study on whether or not men date women to have sex. Maybe there’s something in the stimulus bill.

[Update a few minutes later]

I would note that this is due to a similar psychology among employers — it’s easier to find a job, and you’re more attractive to them, if you already have one. It gets tougher to get one when you’ve been laid off.

9 thoughts on “No Surprise To Me”

  1. I think I’d like to do a study on whether or not men date women to have sex. Maybe there’s something in the stimulus bill.

    GL, I’ve submitted such grant proposal every year to no avail…

  2. PUA’s (Pickup Artists) have long been aware of that tendency. When a PUA approaches a group of ladies, he gives more interest and attention to the women who are not his ultimate target. The book “The Game” by Neil Strauss is an interesting study in male/female psychology even if you aren’t trying to pickup chicks.

  3. I thought the most interesting part of the study were the actual numbers. I never would have guessed they would be so high:

    “The most striking result was in the responses of single women. Offered a single man, 59 per cent were interested in pursuing a relationship. But when he was attached, 90 per cent said they were up for the chase.”

  4. The article claims that women are more attracted to attached men because those men have been “pre-screened,” which I find dubious reasoning. It doesn’t take a genius to know that humanity as a whole expresses a distinct tendency toward desiring those things which it cannot have or those things which are taboo. I wouldn’t be surprised if a significant factor underlying this preference is that simple human desire to want the (hypothetically) unattainable.

  5. My philosophy is to imagine a number assigned to a certain standard of mate you feel is ideal. Then, reduce that number by 4 orders of magnitude then start talking to those people. Maybe 5 orders if you are overly self confident — you know who you are; *cough*. As you filter about the crowd work up through the orders of attractiveness occasionally making eye contact with your ideal targets. Then work you way up to those you are really interested in.

    Several benefits come from this approach in that:

    1. Hitting on people below your standards often are more receptive to your conversation and help warm you up and build confidence.
    2. As your milling through the crowd of underlings the possibility of chance encounters with ideal mates becomes prevalent and can be used to swing that person’s attention to you in your favor — instant ice breaker.
    3. When you are finally ready to approach your ideal mate that person will be drunk by then — buy another round. Not that I need any help mind you.

    Now there is the odd paradox to all this in that sometimes being the sullen dark figure all to himself in the corner can work as well. Now you appear mysterious and intrigue can often get the best of people. Misery loves company, especially around the holidays.

    I was at a party in the early part of December that had a bonfire going outside. It got fairly cold outside and people started heading indoors but I just hung outside, stoked the fire, and drank my beers for a couple of hours. People would head outside and smoke a cig and casually talk for a bit and head in but I just stayed out there chillin. I really didn’t know anybody there except for the friend that I was tagging along with so didn’t converse all that much. Later on that night as it was winding down this drop dead gorgeous girl just casually handed me a slip with her number on it and asked if I’d call later that week for a drink out. I was so shocked that I don’t quite recall what happened next but I think I made a donkey noise and stomped my foot 2 times for yes. She dumped me after New Years, but those 4 weeks were the best stocking stuffer I got that year.

  6. Rand, there’s more to it than a wedding ring. I got engaged when I was in grad school. As soon as that happened, I noticed a difference in how women in my classes and women I met casually treated me — chicks who wouldn’t give me the time of day sudddenly started coming on to me. My friends noticed it too, so it wasn’t my imagination. A female friend told me that “taken guys sorta give off vibes” …

    I think the difference was that I wasn’t noticing them anymore, and therefore I must have been higher in status than they were. The flip side, more or less, of Groucho Marx’s remark that “Any club that would admit me as a member, I wouldn’t care to join.”

    It also ties in with the old observation that women say that they’re looking for good guys, but many of them end up putting out for arrogant assholes who treat them like crap and ignoring the good guys that are all around them. “If he treats me badly he must be better than I am, so he must be a good catch,” in other words.

  7. Here’s an explanation for the findings: men are attracted heavily to looks and women are attracted heavily to security. I think women perceive security in the average married guy. He is (on average) more focused on all the little setting-down-roots issues than the single guy is.

    If they ever get around to researching something else we all know – how women react to men’s economic status – here’s one thing they’ll find: women care about quality, not just quantity. They want a guy whose career maximizes his career-related interests and talents. The guy in a job he hates isn’t focused on building a home; he’s bouncing a ball off a wall consumed with thoughts of escape.

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