The Ideal B00B

Nice work, if you can get it:

Though it would be easy for cynics to assume otherwise, this was a serious study based on a series of scientific measurements and not on the opinions of Mallucci.

‘We used computer measuring tools to examine the dimensions and proportions of each pair of breasts, identifying four features common to all of them,’ he explains.

The features analysed were the dimensions of the upper and lower pole, medical terms that describe the areas above and below the nipple; plus the angle at which the nipple points and the slope of the upper pole.

‘The study revealed that in all cases the nipple ‘‘meridian’’ – the horizontal line drawn at the level of the nipple – lay at a point where, on average, the proportion of the breast above it represented 45 per cent of overall volume of the breast and below it 55 per cent.

‘In the majority of cases the upper pole was either straight or concave, and the nipple was pointing skywards at an average angle of 20 degrees. In all cases the breasts demonstrated a tight convex lower pole – a neat but voluminous curve.

The science is settled.

14 thoughts on “The Ideal B00B”

  1. Um, looks to me like this guy found the ideal “Page 3” B00B. Let’s just say that that particular vein of literature may have some slight bias in it.

  2. It’d be awesome to be a scientist on one of these studies but I’m afraid it would just required too much mammorization.

  3. Upon reading this, I Googled, “Do men ever grow up”?

    This seems to be a burning question. My browser positively choked on the number (107 million) of search results produced, lapsing into a near-death experience. Resuscitation required 20 minutes of delicate tinkering with its innards. The good news: if Rand’s posts continue trending in this direction, I can stop listening to Dr. Joy. Other news: they don’t.

    1. I replicated your search putting the phrase in quotation marks and got 13,200 hits.

      Most of us do grow up but that doesn’t mean we don’t appreciate some of the finer things in life.

    2. Maybe someone will do a study about the inability of men to grow up and get wads of cash from the government.

    3. That depends on your functional definition of “grow up.”

      If you mean, “do they turn gay?” then no, only a tiny fraction, usually at midlife and after a disturbingly celibate marriage.

      If you mean, “do they turn into women?” then, this has already happened to the vast majority of European men (although the gender seems to have bifurcated into a third specie of human that gets drunk and beats one another up at soccer matches), but so far not the majority of American men (just the ones who vote Democrat).

      1. To hear a lot of women, a man “grows up” when he gives a woman whatever she wants, whenever she wants it for as long as she wants it. Whatever it is that a man wants never enters into the conversation.

        Reading Dr Helen and other websites, it appears a lot of men are no longer willing to play by those rules and as a result, a lot of women are unhappy about it.

  4. “All this time I thought Biden was the ideal boob?”

    No, the Vice President is the person threatening Rand with male (ahem) assault if Rand doesn’t support the President’s latest spending program.

  5. I’m sorry but I have to call “Shenanigans” on this! As a devout scientist and amateur enthusiast on this subject, I can not let this little bit of bad science go un-noted. This is an extreme case of selection bias. Page three only looks a British woman or more precisely, woman that British editors want to publish. This seems to be a worthy cause, so in the name of good science, we MUST continue this study with an expanded selection base. I will start my research as soon as I get off work. (stupid filters) 😉

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