The Rise Of Skywalker

Peter Suderman gives it a hearty thumbs down:

Skywalker is a frantic, disjointed mess—not a movie with good ideas poorly executed, not even a movie with bad ideas, but a movie with no ideas at all, save for saccharine paeans to fandom and nostalgia. As a story, it is empty and unengaging to the point of boredom. As a cinematic product, it is surprisingly lackluster, with shoddy effects and muddy visuals. And as an entry in the Star Wars franchise, an ostensibly major part of the pop-culture canon, it is a wasted opportunity: a total failure of both creative imagination and corporate brand management.

But other than that, I’m sure it’s great.

5 thoughts on “The Rise Of Skywalker”

  1. They’ve been saying for years that the studios browbeat the theaters into an agreement where the former gets most of the ticket revenue for so many days, and over time the percentages they take drops. I wonder when the first drop is–it seems like the day after that would be the best day to watch this movie if you’re going to. Although, practically speaking “sometime after this coming Monday” should be good enough.

  2. @George Turner
    It does look like the movie is a reaction to Solo tanking thanks to Rian Johnson shitting on the fans with The Last Jedi. The fan service is strong with this one, which may be why it’s an artistic mess.

  3. I was having an abdominal ultrasound the other day, and the tech was gushing about how much she was looking forward to taking her 15 year old daughter to see it. Made me remember taking my son to see it when he was 7ish. He’s 45 now…

    1. Considering the decline in quality, you should have told the tech that you sympathize with her, having a son who… and then you make up some horrifying story about crime and punishment. ^_^

      I was horrified when I was watching the trailer and they showed three speeder bikes in pursuit of someone, with two storm troopers per bike. Then the back seat of each bike flipped upward like a medieval catapult, hurling the rear storm troopers into the air. Then their jet packs ignited and propelled them forward. That struck me as profoundly stupid, because if the storm troopers are wearing jet packs then they don’t need a catapult launch. Plus, given simple physics, a catapult launch would probably drive the back of the speeder into the ground.

      That’s not just bad writing, it’s bad thinking, and if the movie has a lot of that kind of thing, I’m going to be heavily distracted by it.

      Meanwhile, the Babylon Bee reports on a crotchety old man who’s been booing the screenings.

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