Category Archives: Humor

Dating Tips

My neighbor Kurt Schlichter has some for prominent Democrats:

Having needs is nothing to be ashamed of. You’ve taken on an awesome responsibility being a Democrat leader – you’re constantly struggling to hold up the burden imposed upon you by the support and acclaim of the D.C. establishment and the media. You have a right to extracurricular activities; why, liberal women will tell you themselves that the mere fact that you are quite willing to kill babies by the millions entitles you to all sorts of fringe benefits!

But hey, there are a lot of uptight people out there whose bourgeois notions of “right” and “wrong” really don’t account for the unique pressures and special requirements you face as a liberal icon lookin’ for some lovin’. So, you need to take precautions to ensure that people don’t get the right idea about what you are doing.

Wrong idea. I mean, wrong idea.

First, you’ll want to exclusively seek out liberal women. Don’t make Bill Clinton’s mistake and target women who aren’t reliable progressives. Pinko gals generally know how to play ball and won’t start some sort of fuss that will end up derailing your really important work towards the Democrat Party’s ultimate goal of turning America into Venezuela II: The Starvening.

I don’t think I need to say to read the whole thing.

[Update a few minutes later]

I made the mistake of reading the comments. The person over there describing a fetus as “a parasitic clump of cells” that are like “a cancer” is my nominee for Mother of the Year.

Hitler And Weinstein

As far as I can tell, Hitler hasn’t found out about Weinstein yet. Let’s try a little crowdsourcing to do the video. I’ll kick it off.

At the beginning, they’re talking about how the war against Trump is going, but they’re having problems raising enough campaign funds. Hitler tells then not to worry, Weinstein will come through after his next blockbuster film. They have to tell him that Weinstein has stepped down after being accused of sexual harassment and assault. So who does he ask to step out of the room for the rant?

In the scene where the one woman is comforting another, she can say something like “Don’t worry, there are still plenty of casting-couch scumbags in Hollywood who will give you a part. You might not even have to watch them shower or take in the @ss.”

[Wednesday-morning update]

OK, this is sort of what I had in mind, but I think there are other possible variants.

The Eclipse In Southern California

Would have liked to see totality (guess it remains on the bucket list, maybe 2024 or somewhere else sooner), but we got about sixty percent coverage here. There was a thick marine layer when we awoke, but the clouds broke up in time for us to watch the whole thing. As I saw the moon slice along the left side of the sun, it was easy to imagine it projecting the full shadow a thousand miles north. I took a picture of a natural pinhole camera with hundreds of crescents in our driveway.

A few of my eclipse jokes on Twitter: