Jonah has some in preparation for the latest Obama borefest.
I’m not sure there’s room to be too original here. His usual phrases are familiar enough: “Let me be clear,” “make no mistake,” “this will not be easy” etc. There’s nothing wrong with that sort of thing. One different way to go is conceptual or thematic. Every time Obama suggests there’s a consensus among experts about a proposal when there isn’t, drink. Every time he claims to be aligned with the populist backlash he created, drink. Every time he suggests that History with a capital H demands that we do whatever it is he’s talking about, drink. Every time he says that he’s being “pragmatic” or “bipartisan” when he’s actually being wildly ideological or partisan, drink. And so on.
My own preference is to drink every time he says something that will obviously cost me money. If that seems like an invitation to alcohol poisoning, you could narrow it down slightly by drinking only when something will cost you money and make the economy worse at the same time.
I don’t think it would narrow it down much.
Anyway, I’ll miss it, or rather, I won’t watch it (I won’t miss it at all). I’m going to a book party for Amy Alkon in Santa Monica.
[Update a while later]
Sarah Elizabeth has some predictions:
If the past two weeks are any indication, the President’s State of the Union address tonight will be hilarious.
I don’t say that to be flippant or snarky, as I am admittedly wont to do. I say that genuinely and from a place of what I consider to be astute analysis.
Case in point: After Scott Brown’s stunning Senate victory in Massachusetts and what was the political equivalent of the Boston Massacre, the story line that immediately emerged out of the White House’s Play-Doh spin factory was that Barack Obama – the Harvard-educated, memoir-penning intellectual and oratorical genius – is now a populist!
If that didn’t generate a chuckle, you’d better get your funny bone examined. To put a finer point on it, the Obama administration now wants you to believe that the same guy who criticized the heartland for clinging to guns and religion, who told Cambridge, Mass., police that they behaved “stupidly,” who made fun of Scott Brown for driving a pickup truck, is now a bona fide man of the people.
I told you: hilarious.
The guy we knew from the past year and from the campaign trail – lofty rhetoric, elitist pontificating from on high – was “Obama: Live at the Acropolis.” The State of the Union will mark a new beginning. Call it the debut of “Obama: Live at Folsom Prison.”
So as we gear up for the speech, may I suggest that you include in your survival kit a six-pack of your favorite adult beverage so we can play a little drinking game called “Barack the Plumber.”
I’m still not going to listen.
[Update early afternoon]
Here are the talking points for the speech. As noted, they’re full of whoppers.
Hell, just start taking a drink every time he says ‘I’. That way you’ll be passed out in 5 minutes and will be spared listening to the rest.
How about every time he outlines a train of thought that was proved bone stupid at least 5 years before he was born?
I’m so disinterested in it, that I decided that it would be a perfect time to go tampon shopping for my wife, and I’m not even married, but just in case there are any available ladies they will know that I’m stocked up.
Uh, okay, Doug, at least that’s better than listening to the douchebag…
Just remember Doug, if they are available and they need the tampon, then they aren’t available.
Call it the debut of “Obama: Live at Folsom Prison.”
If he were actually serving a sentence in Folsom Prison at the time, I might actually be interested in hearing what he had to say. As for tonight, not so much.
Hell, just start taking a drink every time he says ‘I’. That way you’ll be passed out in 5 minutes and will be spared listening to the rest.
Careful, if recent past experience is any guide, you’ll be drinking so fast you’d risk alcohol poisoning before you had the opportunity to pass out.
I read that in his “Jobs” speech last Friday in Ohio, Obama said “tax payers” twice, but said “I” 132 times. The only word that comes to mind, “typical”. I’ll bet he thinks the “government” really “has” money too.
Here’s a suggestion, if you’re going to play a “Hi Bob” type game with an Obama speech, I suggest beer, in shots, not liquor, at all, ever. Even at that, nearly a gallon of beer is going to keep you “irrigating” periodically, until 15 minutes before your clock goes off tomorrow. I also suggest then, two Tylenol before bed, and popcorn to stave off some of the hangover while playing “I, Obama”.
Townhall has video with all of the I’s accounted for.
That list didn’t make me laugh, it made me want to puke.
Leland, two words: war paint.
That’s funny! My husband said just last week that we should play a drinking game while watching the debate tonight with friends. After each time McCain says “My Friends,” we will drink. It looks like there will be alot of drunken people at my home tonight.
In Marxist hypothesis, it is the go-between state between Capitalism and Communism. I have alot of kin in Europe surviving under Socialist governments at present and some of whom were under Communism previously. I work for a European company and work with individuals day-to-day who have endured under said organizations for their entire lives. I know damn well what it is, and I have no desire to be under that kind of government. I would sooner oppose you in the streets then to live as they do.