Category Archives: Humor

Business, Economics, Humor, Political Commentary

A New Nominee For Car Czar

7 Comments

Iowahawk nominates himself:

As such, I realize the industry is not suffering from a lack of law professors — it is suffering from a lack of imagination. They gave us cup holders and electric seat warmers when we wanted angel fur and bubble tops. They pushed micro-clown cars and hybrids when the market was rife for chromed 8-deuce Chrysler Hemis. Well, Bucko, all that outmoded thinking is going to end during the reign of Czar Dave. Saving the American auto industry is going to be a big job, but I won’t be doing it alone. I have already appointed my own shadow Council of Automotive Advisors, a select group of successful auto manufacturers whose qualifications appear after the jump. Many are close personal friends of mine, and I can attest to their patriotism, integrity, ingenuity, and wonderful lack of law degrees.

Why not? We could do worse. And almost certainly will.

And as you can see, his advisory council is without peer. I particularly like the discreet tasteful town car to get him to important meetings in our nation’s capital.

Humor, Media Criticism, Political Commentary, Satire

The Journochat

1 Comment

Iowahawk has managed to penetrate the Journolist, and found a copy of the latest chat session:

SPENCER ACKERMAN: did katha leave?

MATTHEW YGLESIAS: yeah

SPENCER ACKERMAN: shes a total bitch but she’s right… none of the hot media girls will hang out with us

EZRA KLEIN: i/k, but i don’t get it… i know i used to have kind of a complexion problem but it cleared up after i started using ProActiv

CHRIS HAYES: i/k a couple of us are a little chubby but were all pretty cute and it’s not like we wear gross clothes or anything

SPENCER ACKERMAN: ya but the only girls who will talk to us are ugly av club lepers like katha and jane hamsher and amanda marcotte

EZRA KLEIN: dont forget the two naomis

MATTHEW YGLESIAS: ewwwwww

JOSH MARSHALL: sometimes i really hate my body… does anyone know any good fast diets?

ERIC ALTERMAN: dont fall in that trap josh… read the article in the May Teen Utne about dealing with body image

MATTHEW YGLESIAS: idk if im ready to really be with a girl

KATHA POLLITT has entered the room.

KATHA POLLITT: this is katha and jane and amanda!! we are at amandas house and we have been reading EVERYTHING you boys said!!!! F/U!!! i hope your happy, jane is crying in the bathroom!!!

EZRA KLEIN: oh s**t sorry

KATHA POLLITT: tell it to jane you JERK-O-LIST AZZHOLES!! And guess what ezra?? I have a screen cap of the whole thing!!! I bet mickey kaus will be interested in seeing it!!!!

EZRA KLEIN: come on dont do that katha

KATHA POLLITT: too late ezra, and you can write ur own f**king blogpost for 1st period. FTW!!!

KATHA POLLITT has left the room.

MATTHEW YGLESIAS: faaaaack

EZRA KLEIN: we’re screwed

JOSH MARSHALL:

Highlarious.

Humor, Political Commentary, Satire

You Know They’ve Gone Too Far

1 Comment

…when they’ve nationalized Iowahawk:

The legislative charter of the TWRA, established by Congress and the President, specifies its principle goal as the preservation of jobs in the critically important blogging sector of the American economy. Thus the board invited Mr. Burge to present a formal proposal on March 11. After a brief negotiation period, Mr. Burge’s initial request of $6.3 billion was lowered to a mutually agreeable $750 and cab fare to the Greyhound station. In exchange, Mr. Burge agreed to (1) regularly submit the financial records of Iowahawk to TWRA oversight regulators, (2) cease outsourcing joke production to foreign subcontractors, and (3) implement a rigorous program of personal hygiene.

Well, at least they didn’t force a merger with Saturday Night Live.

Humor, Popular Culture, Social Commentary

Why I Read Lileks

4 Comments

For grafs like this:

I bought some taco shells before leaving; the clerk, an immense creature who resembled a six-foot soft-serve ice cream treat, asked howr you. I said “damp.” She gave me a look of such unbelievably bovine incomprehension I almost apologized for not saying “fine.” It was almost a warning: don’t get fancy. We don’t take to fancy here. That’s one of the reasons I don’t go to that grocery store anymore. They hired the clerks from the cast party of a Fellini movie and ran them through a Hee-Haw filter, then eliminated the ones who were so antisocial they had fewer than three tattoos of their children’s names on their arms.

I can’t wait to see the novel.

Humor, Political Commentary

More Good Advice From Barry

8 Comments

Let’s hear it for the ‘tards:

But for all I’ve given to the program, I’ve gotten much more in return; the beaming smiles of appreciation for a well-folded towel, the many times the team worked together to tug me out after I got my head stuck in the ball return. I’ve learned much from the experience, including the fact that these bowling tards really have some great policy ideas, like Jimmy’s brilliant “free Skittles for everybody.” That’s why I invited the team to join my Council of Economic Advisers, where they are hard at work on my next stimulus plan. I’ve also learned that tards are people too, and they don’t like to be condescended to or patronized. When Jimmy suggested spending cuts, for example, I sent him to the corner without a juice box — just as I would for any non-tard member of my cabinet.

That’s the kind of bold leadership many of us voted for last fall.