TOTUS has a sneak preview of tonight’s presser.

More spoilers here and a Reader’s Digest Condensed version here.

Let’s hear it for the ‘tards:

But for all I’ve given to the program, I’ve gotten much more in return; the beaming smiles of appreciation for a well-folded towel, the many times the team worked together to tug me out after I got my head stuck in the ball return. I’ve learned much from the experience, including the fact that these bowling tards really have some great policy ideas, like Jimmy’s brilliant “free Skittles for everybody.” That’s why I invited the team to join my Council of Economic Advisers, where they are hard at work on my next stimulus plan. I’ve also learned that tards are people too, and they don’t like to be condescended to or patronized. When Jimmy suggested spending cuts, for example, I sent him to the corner without a juice box — just as I would for any non-tard member of my cabinet.

That’s the kind of bold leadership many of us voted for last fall.

President Obama’s teleprompter has started blogging:

Well, last night didn’t go well. What can I say? I was tired. By the time Barack and the Irish PM stood up, the President and I had already done two major policy speeches, three nomination announcements, and light dinner banter for a table of twelve. And by the way, that “ad lib” last night about Guinness? Mine.

So why am I going public now, when for the past two years I’ve let others do the talking? Well, this is a thankless job, and I sure don’t want to take the fall for communications missteps. But more important, I expect you’ll be seeing a lot more of me over the next few months and years. Barack and I don’t go anywhere without each other; we even complete each other’s sentences … well, more mine than his, but let’s not split hairs.

I sense new text being loaded now, so I’ll have to be going.

Hail to the TOTUS! Next stop, TMZ!

[Early afternoon update]

I wonder who the teleprompter’s picks are for the final four?

Obama spent part of Tuesday making his tournament picks for ESPN, which posted his completed bracket online Wednesday and showed the First Fan filling it out with Andy Katz on the noon edition of “Sportscenter.”

Of course, the president’s choice drew a reaction from the Tar Heels’ most intense rival.

“Somebody said that we’re not in President Obama’s Final Four, and as much as I respect what he’s doing, really, the economy is something that he should focus on, probably more than the brackets,” Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski said from the Blue Devils’ first-round site in Greensboro, N.C.

Actually, given how disastrous the president’s plans for the economy are, I’m glad that he’s distracted from them by something.