Category Archives: Humor

Humor, Political Commentary, Popular Culture, Science And Society, Weird

As If It Weren’t Bad Enough

Global warming will lead to an increase in zombie attacks.

I blame George Bush.

Fortunately, some of us have been prepared for a while.

[Mid-afternoon update]

Saved by the sun:

The Canadian Space Agency’s radio telescope has been reporting Flux Density Values so low they will mean a mini ice age if they continue.

Like the number of sunspots, the Flux Density Values reflect the Sun’s magnetic activity, which affects the rate at which the Sun radiates energy and warmth. CSA project director Ken Tapping calls the radio telescope that supplies NASA and the rest of the world with daily values of the Sun’s magnetic activity a “stethoscope on the Sun.” In this case, however, it is the “doctor” whose health is directly affected by the readings.

This is because when the magnetic activity is low, the Sun is dimmer, and puts out less radiant warmth. If the Sun goes into dim mode, as it has in the past, the Earth gets much colder.

Take that, undead!

Zombies and vampires. Is there any problem the sun can’t fix?

Humor, Political Commentary, Popular Culture, Science And Society, Weird

As If It Weren’t Bad Enough

8 Comments

Global warming will lead to an increase in zombie attacks.

I blame George Bush.

Fortunately, some of us have been prepared for a while.

[Mid-afternoon update]

Saved by the sun:

The Canadian Space Agency’s radio telescope has been reporting Flux Density Values so low they will mean a mini ice age if they continue.

Like the number of sunspots, the Flux Density Values reflect the Sun’s magnetic activity, which affects the rate at which the Sun radiates energy and warmth. CSA project director Ken Tapping calls the radio telescope that supplies NASA and the rest of the world with daily values of the Sun’s magnetic activity a “stethoscope on the Sun.” In this case, however, it is the “doctor” whose health is directly affected by the readings.

This is because when the magnetic activity is low, the Sun is dimmer, and puts out less radiant warmth. If the Sun goes into dim mode, as it has in the past, the Earth gets much colder.

Take that, undead!

Zombies and vampires. Is there any problem the sun can’t fix?

Humor, Political Commentary, Popular Culture, Science And Society, Weird

As If It Weren’t Bad Enough

Global warming will lead to an increase in zombie attacks.

I blame George Bush.

Fortunately, some of us have been prepared for a while.

[Mid-afternoon update]

Saved by the sun:

The Canadian Space Agency’s radio telescope has been reporting Flux Density Values so low they will mean a mini ice age if they continue.

Like the number of sunspots, the Flux Density Values reflect the Sun’s magnetic activity, which affects the rate at which the Sun radiates energy and warmth. CSA project director Ken Tapping calls the radio telescope that supplies NASA and the rest of the world with daily values of the Sun’s magnetic activity a “stethoscope on the Sun.” In this case, however, it is the “doctor” whose health is directly affected by the readings.

This is because when the magnetic activity is low, the Sun is dimmer, and puts out less radiant warmth. If the Sun goes into dim mode, as it has in the past, the Earth gets much colder.

Take that, undead!

Zombies and vampires. Is there any problem the sun can’t fix?

Humor, Weird

Max Power

OK, amidst my ongoing MT template woes, I want to bring your attention to the nine manliest names in the world. Well, the English-speaking world, anyway. Though some of them are Germanic.

Anyway. I know a man who works (or worked) for British Aerospace named Roger Longstaff. I think that beats most on the list, myself. And it’s Anglo-Saxon as all get out.

The post title, of course, is the name that Homer Simpson picked for himself when he decided that he was ashamed of his name (not for anything that he did, though he should have been multiple times over) but when it was used for an embarrassing television character. As he notes, he saw it on a hair dryer.

And yes, I know you’re dying to comment on this. I’m working on it.

Humor

Iowa Also-Rans Commit To Change

January 6, 2008

MANCHESTER (APUPI)

In the days leading up to the crucial primary in this crucial state, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney put his money where his mouth is today in the hard-fought race for the Republican nomination.

“I am the candidate of change!,” he declared.

“To prove it,” he went on, “I am going to use my millions to provide every New Hampshire voter who shows up at the polls on Tuesday with a huge bag of nickels, to spend on whatever you wish, whether it be a down payment on your five thousand dollar fee for John McCain’s scamnesty program, or your first month’s payment on my mandatory health-insurance plan. We’ll even provide a truck to help you carry the loot home.”

In related news in the Democrat primary, Senator Hillary Clinton, who used the word “change” at least three hundred and forty times in last night’s debate, before transcribers got tired of counting, reiterated her commitment to it in a town hall meeting here today. “I promise that if I don’t win this nomination I will really be making change, even more than I have for the last thirty-five years. And in addition, I’ll be asking many of you in this audience, ‘would you like fries with that’?”

In unrelated news, several Clinton campaign advisors were admitted to the local emergency room with mysterious head injuries that had the appearance of blows from high-velocity table lamps.

[Update after watching the Republican “forum” which is a much better term than “debate’]

Rudy points out that “change” is less important, much less important, than what kind of change we get. I’m not in general a Rudy fan, but kudos. I wish that Fred, who spoke before him on the subject, had made at least that brief point.

Humor

Solution of High-Priced Milk

Milk prices hit $3.84/gallon in September which was about a buck more than gasoline. My solution: put ice in milk glasses, then add 15% ethanol to the milk to be required by law. The solution’s also known as (White) Russian.

— Update 12/21, 9:00 PM CST —

Ethanol should be mandated for 15% of the rocket fuel used in US rockets. That might get ADM to stump for more launches.