Iowahawk has outsourced his blog to Bangalore.

…proving she’s not a nutcase, to Congressman Kingston:

I am not a nutcase and I am not an unpatriotic war criminal like you and others who still support the most failed presidency in the history of our country …

See, right there, she says so herself!

You couldn’t make this stuff up.

…proving she’s not a nutcase, to Congressman Kingston:

I am not a nutcase and I am not an unpatriotic war criminal like you and others who still support the most failed presidency in the history of our country …

See, right there, she says so herself!

You couldn’t make this stuff up.

…proving she’s not a nutcase, to Congressman Kingston:

I am not a nutcase and I am not an unpatriotic war criminal like you and others who still support the most failed presidency in the history of our country …

See, right there, she says so herself!

You couldn’t make this stuff up.

Democratic leadership:

HARRY: …the first phase of our multi-faceted plan focuses on the number one key to restoring national security: getting Osama bin Laden. Even as we speak, this dangerous fugitive is still on the loose. As the leader of a Democratic majority in Congress, I will make sure that the head Army and Navy generals get a clear and unambiguous message: “Get Osama” is “Job One.”

NANCY: But it is important to do smart too!

HARRY: That’s right, Nancy. That’s why our tough, no-nonsense emails to the generals will include pictures of Osama bin Laden, so they will know who to get.

NANCY: But whats about disguises?

HARRY: Way ahead of you Nancy! Using state-of-the-art PhotoShop smart computers, we will create simulated pictures of Osama bin Laden wearing a mustache, soul patch, trucker hat, and so on, and these will also be included in our emails. Then, the generals will distribute the pictures to the soldiers, and they can then make a surprise attack at Pakistan and get Osama bin Laden, no matter his latest look. Imagine the looks on the terrorists’ faces!

I can’t wait until November, so I can vote for these people. They sound smart! And tough!

Democratic leadership:

HARRY: …the first phase of our multi-faceted plan focuses on the number one key to restoring national security: getting Osama bin Laden. Even as we speak, this dangerous fugitive is still on the loose. As the leader of a Democratic majority in Congress, I will make sure that the head Army and Navy generals get a clear and unambiguous message: “Get Osama” is “Job One.”

NANCY: But it is important to do smart too!

HARRY: That’s right, Nancy. That’s why our tough, no-nonsense emails to the generals will include pictures of Osama bin Laden, so they will know who to get.

NANCY: But whats about disguises?

HARRY: Way ahead of you Nancy! Using state-of-the-art PhotoShop smart computers, we will create simulated pictures of Osama bin Laden wearing a mustache, soul patch, trucker hat, and so on, and these will also be included in our emails. Then, the generals will distribute the pictures to the soldiers, and they can then make a surprise attack at Pakistan and get Osama bin Laden, no matter his latest look. Imagine the looks on the terrorists’ faces!

I can’t wait until November, so I can vote for these people. They sound smart! And tough!

Democratic leadership:

HARRY: …the first phase of our multi-faceted plan focuses on the number one key to restoring national security: getting Osama bin Laden. Even as we speak, this dangerous fugitive is still on the loose. As the leader of a Democratic majority in Congress, I will make sure that the head Army and Navy generals get a clear and unambiguous message: “Get Osama” is “Job One.”

NANCY: But it is important to do smart too!

HARRY: That’s right, Nancy. That’s why our tough, no-nonsense emails to the generals will include pictures of Osama bin Laden, so they will know who to get.

NANCY: But whats about disguises?

HARRY: Way ahead of you Nancy! Using state-of-the-art PhotoShop smart computers, we will create simulated pictures of Osama bin Laden wearing a mustache, soul patch, trucker hat, and so on, and these will also be included in our emails. Then, the generals will distribute the pictures to the soldiers, and they can then make a surprise attack at Pakistan and get Osama bin Laden, no matter his latest look. Imagine the looks on the terrorists’ faces!

I can’t wait until November, so I can vote for these people. They sound smart! And tough!

A Japanese burglar picked the wrong place to burgle:

The burglar, who was unemployed, admitted he was baffled to find himself among sumo wrestlers.

“First I was caught by a massive man. When the lights turned on, I was surrounded by more than a dozen sumo wrestlers. I was surprised,” Kawabata told police, as quoted by Jiji Press.

I’ll bet he was.

This reminds me of the scene in “Tremors,” when the sandworms break into the survivalists’ basement, whereupon it’s blasted by every weapon know to man that’s not belt fed, and the Michael Gross character says “Guess you broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn’t ya!”

I’ve been hearing about this card for years, but this is the first time I’ve ever actually seen one.

So I will, too. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Geoffrey Chaucer’s blog. The guy’s a comedy genius, if you’re into Middle English.