McCain should have dropped this idiot from the ticket weeks ago.
By the way, sorry for the light live blogging of the workshop, but I had some side meetings this afternoon. More in the morning.
Category Archives: Satire
Getting To The Real Bailout Issues
Iowahawk has an interview with some of the key players.
Pigs
Pork maven Iowahawk has some fun facts. Be sure to follow the links.
A Roundup Of Palin Reax
From Iowahawk.
The Idiossey
Iowahawk has dredged up a previously unfound work of Homer:
Speak to me, O Muse, of this resourceful man
who strides so boldly upon the golden shrine at Invescos,
Between Ionic plywood columns, to the kleig light altar.
Fair Obamacles, favored of the gods, ascends to Olympus
Amidst lusty tributes and the strumming lyres of Media;
Their mounted skyboxes echo with the singing of his name
While Olbermos and Mattheus in their greasy togas wrassle
For first honor of basking in their hero’s reflected glory.
Who is this man, so bronzed in countenance,
So skilled of TelePropter, clean and articulate
whose ears like a stately urn’s protrude?
So now, daughter of Zeus, tell us his story.
And just the Cliff Notes if you don’t mind,
We don’t have all day.
Read all.
Persuasion
Iowahawk has an in-depth report on the Obama campaign’s new winning tactics.
Speaking Of General Zod
At least one will be saved from the coming carbon apocalypse:
Al Gore–or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al–placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity’s hubristic folly.
“There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race,” Gore said. “I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home.”
Hope the poles aren’t so warm there that he can’t build an arctic fortress of pomposity.
He Brought Light Unto The World
Gerard Baker finally sees the light himself:
As word spread throughout the land about the Child’s wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.
And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child’s journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over.
The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.
And the polar bears rejoiced.
Change!
Who said he wasn’t funny? Here are a bunch of Obama light-bulb jokes.
[Update a while later]
And now, knock-knock jokes.
Al Qality
Iowahawk has gotten a hold of the latest hirabi recruitment brochure:
As you have possibly heard by now, Team Satan and their subsidiary Iraqi Security Forces have made several key market acquisitions in the last few months. In order to meet Q3 Return-on-Mayhem targets and maximize stakeholder value, we need to refocus our client-facing resource model. As we are currently seeking a 17th round of venture funding, budgets are extremely tight, and this will require reducing our internal work team payroll load through adaptive right-sizing on a go-forward basis. Accounting estimates indicate that much of this will be achieved via natural attrition and Apache Hellfire missiles. Still, in order to achieve costing targets, we will need to engage in involuntary outboarding.
The Communications department will be most directly effected by this initiative, as we continue transitioning of our day-to-day public relations efforts to low-cost offshore service providers like Huffington Post, DailyKos, and Democratic Underground.
Hey, you get what you pay for.