A woman who forgot to put on her seat belt, or close her sun roof during a tornado, was sucked out of her car and deposited three hundred feet away.

Only three hundred feet? Sorry, that’s far short of the new recently set record.

Do not use a live 40-mm round as a paperweight:

Part of a teacher’s hand was blown off when a 40 millimeter round the instructor used as a paperweight on his desk exploded in his classroom.

Robert Colla struck the round with an object Tuesday afternoon while teaching 20 to 25 students at the Ventura Adult Education Center.

What was the class, training to become the village idiot?

[Update the next evening]

Another note to self: do not use a 40 mm round as a flyswatter.

A malodorous canine flatulence minimizer.

But then, who would we blame it on when we have guests over? The cat? The barking spiders?

Here’s a clip of a truly tragic moment in pop culture history. It is, as noted, very disturbing.

Here’s the story of a teenager who was carried a quarter of a mile by a tornado, and lived to tell the tale:

Grazulis said 300 to 400 feet was about the limit in order to survive a tornado-toss. One 9-year-old girl and her pony survived a 1,000-foot flight in 1955, but this was the longest previously known distance, he said.

A Dutch family is being taxed for a barking doorbell:

”Last year it was a huge effort to convince the inspector that we didn’t have a dog, and now it’s happened again,” Gerrit Bruintjes was quoted as saying by RTL Nieuws.

In the Netherlands, dog owners are required to pay the ”hondenbelasting,” an infamous annual tax that is frequently evaded.

Actually, I think that “barkingspider” would be a great blog name. Or as a plural, a band name.

A Dutch family is being taxed for a barking doorbell:

”Last year it was a huge effort to convince the inspector that we didn’t have a dog, and now it’s happened again,” Gerrit Bruintjes was quoted as saying by RTL Nieuws.

In the Netherlands, dog owners are required to pay the ”hondenbelasting,” an infamous annual tax that is frequently evaded.

Actually, I think that “barkingspider” would be a great blog name. Or as a plural, a band name.

A Dutch family is being taxed for a barking doorbell:

”Last year it was a huge effort to convince the inspector that we didn’t have a dog, and now it’s happened again,” Gerrit Bruintjes was quoted as saying by RTL Nieuws.

In the Netherlands, dog owners are required to pay the ”hondenbelasting,” an infamous annual tax that is frequently evaded.

Actually, I think that “barkingspider” would be a great blog name. Or as a plural, a band name.

A man has sex with a hog. Freepers comment, with hilarious results.

At least he didn’t fling his schlong (try saying that three times fast) at it.

[Update a couple minutes later]

What a shame.

The Free Republic moderator pulled the thread.

Oh, well. My comments section is still open. Just to get it rolling, I call porkback mountain.

This guy had to be either severely over, or undermedicated:

Fik, 33, cut off his own p3nis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said. Officers stunned him with a Taser and took him into custody.

Let the japery commence!