The Secret Obama Campaign Strategy

Andrew Klavan has the scoop:

LISTER: Well, the debt is a very serious problem, but by the same token, I think you have to agree that Mitt Romney drove for twelve hours with his dog in a crate on top of his car.

KOC: What?

LISTER: He’s been cited for cruelty by two different animal rights groups.

KOC: Well, okay, but, in his book Dreams From My Father, President Obama says he actually ate a dog!

LISTER: I don’t think we should be talking about dogs at a serious moment like this. Dogs are just a distraction.

KOC: Fine, let’s get back to the economy. Entitlement programs like Social Security and Medicare are projected to consume all tax revenues within thirty years. Social Security could be operating at a deficit within only two years. Congressman Paul Ryan has put forward a serious and politically courageous plan to address entitlement reform. What will be the president’s approach?

LISTER: We’re on it. Even as we speak, we have hired an actor who looks like Congressman Ryan to pretend to push an old woman in a wheelchair off a cliff. I don’t see how the GOP can answer that, especially when you consider that Mitt Romney’s ancestors may have been bigamists.

KOC: Mitt Romney’s ancestors? Barack Obama’s father was a bigamist!

LISTER: I don’t think we should be talking about bigamy at a serious moment like this. Bigamy is just a distraction.

Actually, I’m not sure it’s that big a secret.

The Crucifier

…has resigned. But the damage has been done:

EPA was finally persuaded to drop its action against Range, probably out of concern that a federal court might strike down its statutory authority to crucify oil-and-gas companies altogether. That was wise, because EPA already got what it wanted from persecuting Range. The company had to spend $4.2 million defending itself against a totally arbitrary action that could have come down on virtually any oil or gas company. And the industry has taken note.

In fact, as a demonstration meant to instill fear in the oil-and-gas industry, the crucifixion of Range Resources worked precisely as Armendariz intended.

There has to be some kind of legal recourse against this kind of arbitrary action.

Biting Commentary about Infinity…and Beyond!