General, Humor, Political Commentary

Fish. Barrel.

16 Comments

A blog about interns in DC:

(Talking about the recent pirate troubles off the coast of Africa)

Intern #1 So do these pirates look like pirates?

Intern #2: What do you mean?

Intern #1: Well, what do they look like?

Intern #2: They’re people with normal clothes . . .and guns.

Intern #1 So they’re not like real pirates?

Intern #2: ?

Intern #1: When I think of pirates I think of Pirates of Caribbean. Do they look like that?

Intern #2: Pirates back then dressed like that because that was the clothes of the day. Pirates today dress in today’s clothes.

Intern #1: Well they should at least still have eye patches.

And then there’s this:

Four interns sit down in my section and order four Bud Lights.

Me: I’m sorry, fellas, we don’t have Bud Light. We have PBR on draft, though.

Intern #1: (sighs) Fine, four of those.

Me: No problem. I just need to see your ID’s.

Intern #2: You don’t need to see our ID’s. We work for Congressman _______ from ________. (Flashes his red badge)

Me: Sorry, dude, but unless the Distinguished Gentleman from _______ is willing to use his oversight authority to make the $10,000 fine that we’d get slapped with for serving you without ID’s go away, and give me a paying job when I get fired anyway, I’m still going to have to see them.

Intern #1: Wow, “oversight authority.” That’s more knowledge than I’d expect from someone with your job.

Me: And that’s about as much ignorance as I’d expect from someone who agreed to lick envelopes for free.

Every customer within earshot starts laughing. The interns pitch a royal fit, call my manager over, and get kicked out anyway. The best part? Not only did I get a $20 bonus from my manager for doing my job right, all of my other customers tipped me at least double.

Thanks for buying me a the new iPhone, boys. Y’all come back anytime.

[Via Jonah]

Business, Political Commentary

The Mystery Of GM’s Crap Interiors

6 Comments

Solved:

As you probably know, ever since GM was founded, its execs have either been driven by a chauffeur or provided with carefully prepared and maintained examples of the company’s most expensive vehicles. Of course, there are times when the suits must sign off on the company’s more prosaic products. Since 1953, this intersection between high flyer and mass market occurred at GM’s Mesa, Arizona, Desert Proving Grounds (DPG). The execs would fly into Phoenix’s Sky Harbor airport, limo out to the DPG and drive the company’s latest models.

Our agent says that all the vehicles the execs drove were “ringers.” More specifically, the engineers would tweak the test vehicles to remove any hint of imperfection. “They use a rolling radius machine to choose the best tires, fix the headliner, tighten panel and interior gaps, remove shakes and rattles, repair bodywork—everything and anything.”

Did the execs know this? “Nope. And nobody was going to tell them… As far as they knew, the cars were exactly as they would be coming off the line. That’s why Bob Lutz thinks GM’s products are world-class. The ones he’s driven are.”

I asked Agent X if the GM execs would ever drive the cars again. Did he know if Wagoner or Lutz dropped in at a dealership to test drive a random sample off the lot? He found the idea amusing.

Color me completely unshocked.

[Via Kaus, the go-to guy for this kind of stuff]

Media Criticism, Political Commentary

An Elderly Anti-Semitic Racist

9 Comments

You’d almost think that Jeremiah Wright was the guy who shot up the Holocaust Museum. I’ll have some more thoughts on leftist/media stereotyping at PJM later this morning.

[Update late morning]

“Socialism represents the future of the west.”

So sayeth the “right wing” Jew hater.

[Bumped]

[Update after lunch]

It just keeps getting better. The guy may have been targetting that well-known bastion of leftist politics, The Weekly Standard. And of course, none of us should be shocked to learn that he was a journalism major…

Biting Commentary about Infinity…and Beyond!