Well, OK, not the cavalry, but the teddy bears (or dogs, or whatever the heck they are), have decided to forgive me and help out with fundraising for the Kickstarter project, which has raised only a third of the needed funds. Go to the link to click on the video (on the image of the ISS).
April 19th, 1944
WASHINGTON (Routers) President Roosevelt celebrated the first anniversary of the death of Isoroku Yamamoto with a national radio address on Tuesday, declaring the war essentially won as a result, despite the fact that Congress approved the extension of the Lend-Lease Act for another year today.
Yamamoto was the mastermind of the terrorist attack on Pearl Harbor, Hawai’i two-and-a-half years ago, that killed both civilian and military personnel. His air transport was supposedly shot down last April 18th by several “Allied” P-38 “Lightning” fighters after the Army received intelligence of his whereabouts on the island of Rabaul in the southern Pacific Ocean. Some are skeptical of his death, however, because the War Department has never released photos of the dead commander, despite rumors that they exist in Japanese hands.
Many view it as a controversial action, because the intelligence that allowed the Lightnings to surprise the aerial armada was obtained through the cracking of Japanese codes [Full disclosure: this news agency was the only one brave enough to report this]. However, the administration continues to defend such practices, and has expressed outrage at publication of the fact that they have done so, claiming that it would somehow compromise the war effort. Skeptics, however, have complained that such behavior is a violation of the rules of war. They say that the enemy deserves to be treated with respect and honesty, and that the nation loses its moral standing in the world with such tactics.
In his speech, the president also said that the terror leader would still be alive had someone else been in the White House at the time. Referring to Governor Thomas Dewey, the presumptive Republican nominee in the coming fall election, he said that “…the little man on the wedding cake wouldn’t have had the guts to order that mission, as I did. He won’t even debate on foreign policy.” Many say that the president has a point, given that Dewey only wants to discuss domestic policy and the possibility of communists in key posts in the Roosevelt administration.
Republicans, however, say that the president’s speech is unseemly and un-presidential. “Certainly the president deserves credit for the death of Yamamoto, but the notion that Governor Dewey wouldn’t have done the same thing is ludicrous,” said a campaign staffer. “He can’t possibly know that, and any president, even Woodrow “League of Nations” Wilson would have done so. This is nothing but politics in an election year where the president feels vulnerable.”
An unnamed senior official at the War Department followed up with the president’s speech, stating on background that, “…the ‘War on Aircraft Carriers’ is over.” He went on, “”Now that we have killed tens of thousands of Japanese troops with the president’s brutal island-hopping strategy, and destroyed their morale with the death of their leader, the Japanese people have come to see the potential for legitimate means of expression, people who once might have gone into the Japanese Imperial Forces now see an opportunity for a legitimate Shintoism.”
Administration critics scoff at the notion. “Yes, I suppose you could say ‘the War on Aircraft Carriers is over’ if you ignore the fact that the Japanese still have fifteen of them, and continue to commission new ones almost every month,” said one Republican Senate staffer. “We’re slowly taking back the Pacific, island by island, but it’s a long bloody mess ahead, and the Nazis still control the continent of Europe. If this is a war that’s ‘over,’ I’d hate to see one that was raging.”
Andrew Klavan has the scoop:
LISTER: Well, the debt is a very serious problem, but by the same token, I think you have to agree that Mitt Romney drove for twelve hours with his dog in a crate on top of his car.
KOC: What?
LISTER: He’s been cited for cruelty by two different animal rights groups.
KOC: Well, okay, but, in his book Dreams From My Father, President Obama says he actually ate a dog!
LISTER: I don’t think we should be talking about dogs at a serious moment like this. Dogs are just a distraction.
KOC: Fine, let’s get back to the economy. Entitlement programs like Social Security and Medicare are projected to consume all tax revenues within thirty years. Social Security could be operating at a deficit within only two years. Congressman Paul Ryan has put forward a serious and politically courageous plan to address entitlement reform. What will be the president’s approach?
LISTER: We’re on it. Even as we speak, we have hired an actor who looks like Congressman Ryan to pretend to push an old woman in a wheelchair off a cliff. I don’t see how the GOP can answer that, especially when you consider that Mitt Romney’s ancestors may have been bigamists.
KOC: Mitt Romney’s ancestors? Barack Obama’s father was a bigamist!
LISTER: I don’t think we should be talking about bigamy at a serious moment like this. Bigamy is just a distraction.
Actually, I’m not sure it’s that big a secret.
This may be a bridge too far, given the state of the agency and Congressional proclivities.
I forgot to set it last night. It’s just another miserable day in the continuous living hell that is Barack Obama’s America. And Romney has promised to do nothing on this crucial issue, either. Like Tom Friedman, I wish that Mike Bloomberg would run for president, so we’d finally have someone in the White House who cares about people like me, and will take care of serious problems like this.
[Update a while later]
More idiocy from Tom Friedman — he thinks the problem with America is that the government is gridlocked. Even ignoring all the legislative lunacy over the past decade that puts the lie to the notion, gridlock is the only thing that saves us from even worse laws.
[Update a few minutes later]
More thoughts from Yuval Levin:
The fact is that the legacy of the Great Society, especially but not exclusively in the form of the two health-care entitlements of the Great Society, Medicare and Medicaid, now threatens the fiscal future of the government and therefore the economic future of the country. The design of those two entitlement programs was not well thought out in the mid-60s, and in more recent times has been a primary driver of the inflation of health costs that is at the core of both the health-care financing crisis and the government’s fiscal woes. It is far worse than the usual kind of legislative screwup. Medicare and Medicaid, structured as they are, are just the kinds of “bad laws” passed “through haste, inadvertence, or design” that Alexander Hamilton warned against in Federalist 73, and thought the constitutional system’s various restraints would protect us against. The elite governing consensus of the mid-60s represented a failure of those constraints that resulted in a number of costly errors. It was that period, not our own time, that marked a breakdown of our constitutional system. ↓ Read the rest of this entry…
Rowan Williams is no longer going to be Archbishop of Canterbury. In his honor, I offer up an Iowahawk classic.
Iowahawk’s take on half time:
The people of Detroit know a little something about this. Okay, yeah, so this isn’t Detroit, it’s actually New Orleans. So sue me. We were supposed to film this in Detroit, but GM rented it out to film their Chevy Truck Apocalypse ad. But imagine this really was Detroit, with all its gritty inspiring he-man decay. When the chips were down we all pulled together, hosed down the streets, and turned up the dramatic shadow lighting. Now Motor City is fighting again – as the world’s cheapest location shoot for zombie movies.
Sure, I’ve seen a lot of tough eras, a lot of downturns in my life. I was in ‘Every Which Way But Loose,’ for crissakes. There were times when we didn’t understand each other, because you complained that I sounded like an emphezema victim who gargled with Grape Nuts. The fog of division, discord, and blame made it hard to see what lies ahead, no matter how hard I squinted.
Goddammit, somebody get me a throat lozenge.
But after those trials, we all rallied around what was right, and acted as one. Did you see me bitch and whine after 30 takes with a smelly orangutan? No. I sucked it up and yelled ‘action’ one more time. Because that’s what we do. We find a way through tough times, and if we can’t find a way, then we’ll call the trainer and order another orangutan, one that doesn’t throw its turds at the union crew.
Go read it all. You know you want to.
In the real America.
…of the Democrats. And they thought the Republicans had a lousy field.
Don’t we need one?
No, worse: it’s Iowa. By you-know-who, and thus, prepare to split a gut or two.
…just don’t deserve a demi-god like Barack Obama:
Maybe it’s time for us to really take a look at ourselves and ask: Is Obama actually a great president, and we’re just a lousy country?
It’s not really that radical a question. I mean, look at him: He’s a bright, Harvard-educated man who’s not only been to other countries but has actually lived in them — he knows cultures and viewpoints beyond the narrow ones we have here. And he surrounds himself with the greatest minds on earth. And who are we, compared to him? We’re a bunch of slobs, really. Kind of ignorant. Maybe a little racist. And we surround ourselves with bowls of flavored corn chips. But the country’s problems are supposed to be his fault? Does that make sense?
Look at what Obama did to try and get our economy going. He had this big, hundreds of billions of dollars stimulus that was designed by all the great economists who work in his administration — the top minds. It should have worked. The economy should be roaring right now and unemployment a thing of the past. America should be a utopia. So what was missing from the equation? That the people the stimulus was used on are a bunch of lazy dimwits. Obama did everything he possibly could, but apparently Americans just aren’t very good at running businesses and creating jobs. Obama has given us so many advantages that even chimpanzees should have been able to create jobs, but we just sit there like useless blobs while our companies crumble around us. We’re failing the country. We’re failing him.
I’ve been saying for years that we’re just not worthy of him.
Iowahawk is off to Camp Obama:
We are saving
This whole nation
With some squad car
Defecation
We went marching
in Zucotti
And got applauded by the Nazi PartyThere’s a raping
Every day now
Some are straight and
Some are gay now
Latest outbreak
Dysentery
In the food tent over by the Ben & Jerry’s
As he says, with apologies to Allan Sherman.
TCod is entering the presidential race. That should liven things up.
…in 1939.
[Update a while later]
Poor Hitler. He’s learned that #OWS is a laughingstock.
[Late morning update]
Almost every organization present at OWS is explicitly communist or socialist. Almost every piece of literature being handed out is explicitly communist or socialist. I don’t mean half, and I don’t mean the overwhelming majority — I mean almost all of it. Yes, there are the usual union goons trying to figure out how to get OWS to do the bidding of the AFL-CIO and the Democratic party, and the usual smattering of New Age goo (the “Free Empathy” table) and po-mo Left wackiness (animal-rights nuts), the inevitable Let’s-Eradicate-Israel crowd (“Free Palestine, from the river to the sea!”). But, that being said, almost every organized enterprise and piece of printed material I have encountered has been socialist or communist. It’s been a long time since I saw anybody peddling books by Lenin. It’s been a long time since anybody told me the Ukrainians had it coming.
When the protesters were rallying to march to Times Square, out went the call: “Follow the red flag!” Which is what they did, literally and, I fear, figuratively.
Interesting, then, that Barack Obama has decided to lend some presidential legitimacy to the proceedings. OWS isn’t a socialist revolution — I’d be surprised if it ever escalated past the vandalism stage — but it imagines itself to be, and Barack Obama suggests that he is in sympathy with it. This reminds me of something . . . a particular image
…
The Tea Party was a revolt of the producers. #OWS is the usual collectivist leach class.
[Update a couple minutes later]
They’re for “economic justice.”
…and I am the one percent.
[Update a few minutes later]
If you think that someone else should pay your tuition because you want them to pay your tuition, and that’s your opinion — you’re just putting it out there, you might be a fleabagger.
Iowahawk has found them:
Now… now Juan… let’s just calm down here a minute. Just, okay.. okay… let me please explain, okay? See, the funny thing is, it turns out, a couple years back there was, well, this stimulus program money, and then there were these brainstorming sessions, where, well, there were some ideas what to do with it. So, anyhoo, one of the ideas that happened was, ‘hey, what if there were, say, 2000 machine guns that got sent to Mexican drug lords?’ and so forth.
Well no, of course we couldn’t tell you. It would have ruined the surprise.
Well, okay, I guess the gato is out of the ol’ bag-o. You know that drug cartel war problem you’ve been having? So, well, the idea was, hey, wouldn’t it be great if somehow we could put a trace on the machine guns, and then, surprise! It’d be a like a whole pinata full of drug lord information.
Mmhm.
Why? Well see, if we traced all the machine guns we gave to your drug lords, then we could all learn how your drug lords get their machine guns.
Well, Juan, yes, certainly, that’s one hypothesis. But I mean besides from us.
Tracers?
Oh, those tracers. See, the funny thing is – and this is such a hoot – someone forgot to buy batteries for them. You know how it is when you buy those Christmas presents, and it’s like “batteries not included,” and…
Now, Juan – Juan – now, just a minute here, you don’t have take that tone of voice. This isn’t all about you.
Well, come on now, Juan, imagine how terrible I feel about this whole situation! And not just me. Eric, and all the bureau heads, all down the line. Look, I didn’t want to spoil another surprise, but we were all planning to chip in and get you a comprehensive immigration reform package to help cheer you up.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, there amigo! Let’s not get carried away there with the blamestorming. Just because I feel bad about this, don’t go trying to pin this one on me!
Huh?
Well, frankly, I don’t know. I mean, in the grand scheme of things, can anybody say that anybody else is to blame? Even if that were possible, would it bring anybody back to life? Believe me, if I could build some magical time machine and go back to 2009 and say, ‘hey guys, let’s stop this thing,” I would. But both of us need to stop living in fantasy world.
Let’s not bicker and argue over ‘oo killed ‘oo.
Or more precisely, why does the president hate us, and what can we do to placate Him?
…in a massive “green jobs” fraud:
The fraud – conservatively estimated at $38.6 billion, though others believe it could be at least 20 times bigger once his secret trading accounts in a file mysteriously marked “Stimulus Package” are fully investigated – comfortably exceeds the paltry $2.3 billion losses run up by UBS trader Kweku Adoboli.
Though full details of the Uber Rogue Trader – known only by his initials B.O. – have yet to be released, he is believed to be either of Hawaiian or Kenyan birth, with a plausible speaking manner and a deceptive aura of competence and gravitas. He is said to be “coolly unrepentant” about his crime, which, he claims, he was only doing to provide “hope and change” to his 200 million victims.
The fraud appears to have centred around an arcane taxpayer-swindling system first devised by Kenneth Lay of Enron known as “Clean tech” or “green jobs.” B.O. – who joined the bank in January 2009 – is believed to have persuaded colleagues and shareholders that he could boost the institution’s flagging profits by spending $38.6 billion on a “loan guarantee program” for clean tech start up companies. He also claimed that in the process he would create “65,000 jobs”.
This really is criminal fraud. But I won’t hold my breath waiting for the Justice Department to do anything about it.
Frank J. has already written the New York Times campaign editorial for them:
And then there’s [Republican nominee]‘s opinion [Republican nominee view 2]. It’s almost hard to believe. He/she is basically proposing to set the rights of [protected group] back one hundred years. How can someone in this day and age actually argue [Republican nominee view 2]? This is once again thinking that is stuck in the past and won’t continue to move the country forward like President Obama has done. Plus it’s well known that [talking point on Republican nominee view 2].
As for the economy, what has [Republican nominee] proposed? [Republican nominee proposal for the economy]. You have to be kidding me. It’s a lopsided tax cut for the rich at the expense of the poor and the elderly. Obviously, [Republican nominee] is beholden to the unreasonable, extreme views of the Tea Party. His/her ideas are nothing like the balanced approach Obama has proposed with [Obama economic proposal, if available]. Only that approach will continue the progress Obama has already made.
One has to wonder about the intelligence of someone who would believe such radical views as [Republican nominee view 1] and [Republican nominee view 2] and has an economic plan of [Republican nominee proposal for the economy]. People used to question Bush’s intelligence in jest, but at least he was educated at Yale and Harvard and thus had some wisdom about the world. [Republican nominee], on the other hand, is truly a dunce, as we’ve seen with such statements as [gaffe 1] and [gaffe 2]. Does anyone really think [demeaning nickname for Republican nominee] stacks up against the intelligence and poise of President Obama?
And some of the things [Republican nominee] has said that aren’t outright stupid are quite scary. Like when he/she said [Republican nominee statement using the words "black" or "dark" -- just something that could be argued to be racist; be creative]. This is obviously a dog whistle to rally people who have a problem with the American president being black. And then he/she said [Republican nominee statement about religion, such as praying to God for guidance]; [Republican nominee] obviously doesn’t believe in the separation of church and state and wants to make this country a theocracy. America doesn’t need its own Taliban.
I’m sure they’ll appreciate it — it will save them a lot of work. You’d think they might be a little concerned about how predictable they are, though.
For the Fatherland, it is time to report the enemies of the state.
New scandal at D of J, as illegal guitars find their way into the hands of Mexican druglords:
The secret program came to light early this morning in the border town of Nogales, Arizona, after what was described as a wild battle of the bands between members of the Sinaloa cartel and Los Zetas, two of Mexico’s most notorious violent drug gangs.
“Usually these guys are armed with Mexican Strats and Squires, Epiphones, small caliber stuff like that,” said Pedro Ochoa, 36, an eye witness to the sonic melee. “This time they were packing the heavy firepower.”
The steady barrage of power chords and piercing solo attacks attracted the attention of nearby U.S. Border Patrol agents, who arrived at the scene just as Los Zetas broke into Led Zeppelin’s ‘Immigrant Song.’ By the time the dust had cleared, U.S. Border Patrol Agent Oscar Jimenez was found in a catatonic state of headbanging. He was later flown to University of Arizona Hospitals, where his condition is listed as seriously rawked.
And the cover up will continue.
[Update a couple minutes later]
What’s the difference between Martin and Gibson? Nope, not the “illegal” wood. One donates to Dems and the other to Republicans. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence.
The teddy bears, or dogs, or whatever they are, discuss Kay Bailey Hutchison’s latest antics.
Jon Goff tweets: “Hubble scientists think they’ve discovered a fact sufficiently distant that KBH won’t use it as a justification for starting SLS *right now*.”
Earlier ones: “Seen on spacepolitics.com: KBH says that USGS data about the east-coast earthquake proves that we need to build SLS right now,” and “In related news, KBH says that events unfolding in Tripoli prove that NASA needs to get going on SLS right now…”
[Update a few minutes later]
For a little background, read this post at Space Politics.
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Political Particle Physics
by Rand Simberg on July 8, 2012 at 10:06 amIowahawk reports on a new pseudoscientific breakthough:
Actually, I don’t think that Nancy Pelosi has the requisite equipment for a lobotomy.