Solved: “Randy Barnett made a wish on a cursed monkey’s paw that his commerce clause argument would be accepted. It explains everything, no?”

Seriously, here’s what I think happened. Roberts initially voted with the others to throw out the whole law, and has spent the last several weeks trying to pick up at least one more vote (perhaps from Breyer or Sotomayor — Ginsburg and Kagan were never a possibility) to make it 6-3 instead of a narrow 5-4. At the end, he gave up, and decided to narrowly keep it instead of narrowly strike it down. I think that explains the facts, and the bizarre opinion, which was nowhere near as cogent and well thought out as what became the dissent. And I’ll bet that the new minority is pretty angry at him right now (and have been since he switched).

Which political party is which? Kevin Williamson answers the important questions:

Conservatives don’t see liberals as vampires — they’re zombies. The closest thing I’ve seen (or smelled) to a zombie apocalypse happened at Zuccotti Park, the shambolic squatters therein denied the ability to act upon their culinary impulses only by the manifest lack of brains available for eating. We may call liberals “bloodsuckers” and whatnot, and, as Mr. Davis notes, Rush Limbaugh did once go on an Obama-vampire riff, but he has his hematophages all wrong. Rush quotes our own venerable VDH:

Watching the tastes, the behavior, the rhetoric, the appointments, and the policy of this administration suggests to me that it is not really serious in radically altering the existing order, which it counts on despite itself. Its real goal is a sort of parasitism that assumes the survivability of the enfeebled host.

Not vampires, but leeches, ticks, bedbugs, etc. “Vampire” is the word we use for liberals when we’re trying to be nice.

Just so.