Does Drew Barrymore Sh1t In The Woods?

Apparently so, in honor of Earth Day. And she loves it.

When Barrymore (star of “E.T.” and “Charlie’s Angel’s,” to name a few of her films) bragged about defecating in the forest, Diaz responded she would like to have the same experience.

“I am so jealous right now, I am going — I am going to the woods tomorrow,” Diaz said. A clearly satisfied Barrymore laughed, repeating, “It was awesome.”

Read the whole amazing thing. Even if I had time to make the attempt, this stuff defies parody. I don’t even think this guy could manage it.

I think that Cartman gets it right:

(Driving through San Jose, Costa Rica)

Eric Cartman: Oh my God, it smells like @ss out here.

Miss Stevens: Alright, that does it. Eric Cartman, you respect other cultures this instant.

Eric Cartman: I wasn’t saying anything about their culture, I was just saying their city smells like @ss.

Miss Stevens: You may think that making fun of third-world countries is funny but let me…

Eric Cartman: I don’t think it’s funny. This place is overcrowded, smelly and poor. That’s not funny, that sucks.

[Saturday night update]

A lot of great comments at this post on the same subject by Ron Bailey at Reason.

Like Lawyer, Like Client

Just when you thought the Michael Jackson case couldn’t get any weirder, we find evidence that his new attorney isn’t averse to a little B&D.

The playful dominatrix, TAMI SMITH, tells the tabloid, “I was at the party for a few hours when I noticed this old gentleman with a great smile and white hair. I was told he was a highprofile attorney but didn’t know his name.

“I went up to him and said, ‘Down on your knees.’ I wasn’t surprised, but he immediately dropped to his knees. I put my dog collar around him, he didn’t have a problem with it.

Maybe they should hook him up with Lynddie England.

Huh?

In an interesting piece about blogging in Business Week, I come across this oddity:

A Google official says the company has lots of bloggers and just expects them to use common sense. For example, if it’s something you wouldn’t e-mail to a long list of strangers, don’t blog it.

That might be common something, but it doesn’t look like common sense to me. If I used that criterion, I can’t think of anything that I’d ever blog, since I would never email anything to a long list of strangers. On my planet, that’s called spamming.

If Google officials don’t understand the difference between a hyperlink that someone comes across, and decides to go investigate it, and having that same person’s mailbox filled with someone’s uninvited ravings, they’re frighteningly clueless about the internet. I wonder if this quote was taken out of context?

No Big Deal

The president’s science advisor says that Mike Griffin will ride to the rescue, and save us from the dreaded gap.

Unlike Senator Hutchison, though, who unaccountably thinks gaps are a national security crisis, Dr. Marburger is more sanguine about them. Too much so, in fact, for my taste:

…more gaps in access were likely in the future of the U.S. space program. These gaps are to be viewed as a fact of life in space operations, he suggested.

“There will be future gaps from time to time. The thing to remember is that the president’s plan is a long-term, sustained commitment.” Gaps, he suggested, were simply a part of the continuing process of space exploration.

While I don’t in fact think that “gaps” are that big a deal, given the trivial things that we’re currently doing (and even planning) with our civil manned spaceflight program, I’m quite disturbed by the notion that they are an inevitable feature of space operations. Imagine if he’d said, “there will be future gaps from time to time in our ability to get into the air,” or “there will be future gaps from time to time in our ability to cross the oceans.”

Clearly, this isn’t an attitude that would be acceptable if we were actually doing anything important with humans in space. The fact that he can make such a statement is a window into his perception of the importance of being a space-faring nation, a goal at which the current plans for VSE still fall far short, for decades.

The New Buggy-Whip Manufacturers

Glenn writes about GM’s problems.

This is an issue of personal resonance with me, and one that I write about with heart heavy, because I almost certainly wouldn’t be here blogging, or blogging about the topics that I do, if it weren’t for GM. I grew up in Flint, Michigan (unlike Michael Moore, despite his claims), the home town of GM. It was part of the proud history of my town, and much of my third grade education was devoted to learning about it. I remember the tales my grandparents told of the proud stand of the union in the 1937 strike, how through the long weeks wives and mothers brought their husbands and sons sandwiches to pass through the factory windows during the lockdown on south Saginaw Street at the Fisher One plant, now closed, around the corner from which my brother owned a house in the 1980s, when it was still operating.

My father was a GM executive. GM put food on our table, paid our mortgage, paid for the public schools that I attended (however abysmal, but at the time, they were probably as good as any in the nation as a result of GM-provided property-tax payments, and the Charles Stewart Mott Foundation–C.S. Mott was one of GM’s founders), and helped fund Mott Community College, which I attended prior to going to engineering school at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. And of course, it put many cars in our garage and driveway over the years (most of them GM products).

But the movie October Sky resonated strongly with me, because I saw in some ways GM as the coal mine that kept me from the stars (despite the fact that GM actually played a key role in Apollo–AC Spark Plug Division, for whom my dad worked at the time, built the inertial platform for the Command Module and Saturn), and my father as someone who couldn’t understand how anyone wouldn’t want to work for the company that had treated him, a kid from Brooklyn who moved out of the big city to marry his midwest sweetheart after the war, so well. I remember his shock as I spurned his company cars (almost invariably Caddies, or Caddie wannabes, like Buick Electra 225s, which handled like ocean liners with flooded bilges) for my own MGB-GT when I went out on dates.

Of course, it wasn’t nearly as bad as the movie–my father even tolerated, if he didn’t understand, the fact that I preferred MGs to GM as a youth (and truth be told, to the degree that MGs or their like are still being produced, still do).

Part of the parallel was that I worked summers for the company to help with college bills (getting the jobs through the influence of my dad, of course), and it helped motivate me to study harder so that I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life there. One of the things that these summer job experiences taught me was that in addition to the fact that they made lousy cars (even then, in my humble sports-car-loving opinion), they were dramatically mismanaged, and that ultimately (though I didn’t imagine that it would take so long) they had no future.

Now this has all caught up with them.

General Motors is a powerhouse company of the early twentieth century, in a slow-motion collision with the twenty-first. By some estimates, several thousand dollars of the cost of each car they sell goes to pay health care and retirement benefits of their employees. As more people retire, this can only get worse as the burden grows.

Much worse, like the Catholic Church, which I wrote about earlier today, they’re not prepared for the health-care breakthroughs about to come about. One would think that improvements in health care would be a boon to a corporation with many billions of dollars in annual health care costs, and from that narrow standpoint it may. But what happens to that same company when it also has a liability in the form of a guaranteed annuity to its retired employees (and future retirees) as long as they live, when as a result of that improved health care, they stubbornly refuse to die? Virginia Postrel points to a recent article by Holman Jenkins (subscription only, sorry) in the WSJ about GM’s troubles which alludes to this:

Mr. Wagoner has decided that GM will go the final laps in its race with the mortality tables without the possibility of any hits that Zeta might have spawned. This may be entirely rational, but the grim reaper had better hold up his end of the bargain.

Given current advances in medicine, it’s looking like a sucker’s bet that he will.

I’m grateful to GM for what it gave me and my family growing up, but it’s looking (as in fact it has for a long time) like a sinking ship to me, and the current pathetic efforts (scroll down–I’ve never been able to break the code on Mickey’s permalinks) in terms of new models are just rearranging the deck chairs. The only hope I see, ultimately, is a bankruptcy that will require a renegotiation of the insane contract with the UAW.

Does anyone else see any parallels between GM’s current situation and that of another outdated child of the early twentieth century–Social Security?

[Update on Friday night]

For any of those who found their way here due to an intrinsic interest in and knowledge of GM and Flint history (particularly recent Flint history), I have a request for information here.

Stuck In The Past

Senator Hutchison is going to be a distinct downgrade from Sam Brownback, when it comes to space policy, though she’ll probably be good news for JSC. It also means that one of her nicknames should be “Senator from ISS.”

In an article in which Bill Readdy says that NASA plans to accelerate the development of the CEV (not intrinsically a bad thing, given that it’s going to be built at all, and certainly in line with the new administrator’s desires), note this:

Sen. Kay Hutchison (R-Texas), subcommittee chair, said that NASA must work to avoid being caught without the ability to launch its own human missions to the ISS and low-Earth orbit.

Biting Commentary about Infinity…and Beyond!