16 thoughts on “DC After Climate Change”

  1. Don’t drain the swamp – inundate it! Flush the corruption out to sea.

    Just relocate the museums first.

  2. SMOD would be faster, giving less time for the swamp creatures to spread. Still, flooding DC would be better than nothing.

  3. Trump’s move to relocate the Interior Department? to a central state was brilliant. Should have made it stick.

    Everyone’s been saying drain the swamp – I say let it flood.

    1. The next conservative President should not only move them, but burn the buildings in DC down…leave them no place to run back to.

        1. If it’s real marble (metamorphic limestone) it’d be real hard to ignite, but a lot of what’s used in the building trade as dimension stone is non-metamorphic calcite and dolomite, some of which is fairly flammable (as well as much cheaper). My dad wrote a book about this some 55 years ago, but I don’t think I have a copy anymore.

          1. Btw, if you ever get a chance to tour the White House Office Building, do so. It’s made of cast iron. If someone ever nukes the White House, the adjacent office building will probably survive. Glowing nicely, but still there.

  4. Maybe take a page from the IOC–every four years, move the capital to a different fetid god-forsaken swamp and burn down the old one (or convert it to homeless shelters). Sure there will be corruption in deciding which swamp to move to, but at least three of the four years will be spent in moving, leaving only one in four spent in screwing the rest of us over.

  5. Needs more sharks. Hopefully “climate change” will increase the water’s warmth to the point where white sharks are attracted to the area as well.

  6. Elevation map of DC.

    Well, nothing remotely like flooding is going to happen there. Capitol Hill is over a hundred feet above sea level, and even the low lying areas along the rivers are at an elevation of 20 to 30 feet.

    Flooding is out, so fire remains the best bet.

    1. Some say the world will end in fire,
      Some say in ice.
      From what I’ve tasted of desire
      I hold with those who favor fire.
      But if it had to perish twice,
      I think I know enough of hate
      To know that for destruction ice
      Is also great
      And would suffice.

  7. Capitol Hill is over a hundred feet above sea level, and even the low lying areas along the rivers are at an elevation of 20 to 30 feet

    A glacier would do it; they’ve been there before. And although it would take place on a geological time scale, it would still happen before any change in DC takes place.

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